Aristolochia clematitis - Birthroot
by Phillip Robbins
INTRODUCTION
The inspiration for this extensive reproving of Aristolochia clematitis came from the first line of the chapter on this remedy in Edward Whitmont's classic book 'Psyche and Substance'. He states ' This paper introduces a drug into our English Materia Medica which deserves a place foremost among our polychrests.' This struck my curious mind as an intriguing statement. Why would he make such a claim? So in 1997 a study group that I was part of undertook a dream proving of the remedy. This gave me a vital clue as to why this 'foremost' of polychrests has languished for so long in obscurity. One of the central themes of the remedy was about losing connections. It was then that I made a commitment to not let this remedy be lost to our profession any longer. Six months later I was at an international seminar in Holland where provings were discussed and I had the idea to organise an international Hahnemannian proving of this remedy, simultaneously on three continents. Surely I thought, this elusive remedy would not be able to escape understanding from such a large proving. This is the result of that proving, as well as several dream provings conducted by myself and Jean Pierre Jansen. I hope that this forgotten polychrest may soon attain a more recognised place in our materia medica.
THE PLANT
Aristolochia clematitis (also know as Birthroot) is a climbing perennial of the family Aristolochiaceae. It climbs by use of its stems that make a zigzag form. It has foul smelling, yellow, tubular flowers which attract flies and bugs by their carrion like odour. The flies slip down the perianth tube, where they pollinate the stamens. Stiff hairs on the inside of the tube prevent the insects escape until they wither.
Aristolochia clematis has been used in ancient Egypt, in medieval Europe and by the American Indians for several centuries. The current name is said to have been introduced by Paracelsus. It comes from the Greek aristos meaning good or best and lochia meaning labour or childbirth. There is mention of it being used by the ancient Egyptians for this purpose. It was also used for the treatment of snake bite and as a vulnerary. These uses were based on the doctrine of signatures, as the curved flower looks like a uterus or snake.
The main constituent of the plant is Aristolochic acid. Toxological studies of this acid have shown that it can cause:
Tachycardia, nausea, dizziness and convulsions
Sedation and marked vasodilation
Fatty degeneration of the liver and internal massive and capillary haemorrhages
Menorrhagia, and haemorrhagic nephritis
Gastroenteritis and fatty degeneration of the liver
Decrease in lymphocytes
Death by respiratory arrest
Females were found to be more sensitive to its effect than males. It has caused infertility, presumably by interfering with the steroid conditioning of the uterus rendering it hostile to ovum implantation. It also inhibits oxytocin induced contractions of the uterus and the amplitude of rhythmic spontaneous contractions thus making it an abortifacient.
Studies have also shown antibacterial and anti-cancer effects, as well as mutagenic and carcinogenic properties. It has anti-viral properties against the herpes simplex virus. In studies of its possible therapeutic action against snake venom it was found to inhibit the oedema inducing activity of the Vipera venom, but it did not inhibit any other venom effects. Its high content of allantoin may explain the plants effectiveness in treating abrasions and septic conditions. Whitmont claimed it was superior to Calendula as a vulnerary.
This proving confirms the traumatic nature of the remedy and the preponderance of dreams about birthing and babies should lead us to consider its use in the area of reproductive complaints, especially of a traumatic nature. The cure during the proving of a case of ailments from hysterectomy adds evidence for this.
It is also interesting to note the theme of DISGUST / GARBAGE in this remedy as the plant propagates itself by attracting flies to it's flowers with the smell of garbage.
COMBINED DATA FROM THE FOLLOWING PROVINGS:
1. Dutch dream proving April 1993 by Jean Pierre Jansen with 13 provers.
2. Dutch seminar dream proving Jan 1997 by Jean Pierre Jansen with 14 provers.
3. Australian study group dream proving 18.11.97 by Phillip Robbins with 10 provers; single dose on same day.
4. International Hahnemannian proving Sept - Oct 1998 by Phillip Robbins in Australia, Anne Reijonen in Finland and Gwyneth Evans in New Zealand with 21 provers. A single dose was given on the dates stated.
PROVERS
No SEX POTENCY
AUSTRALIA November 19.97
1. M 30c single dose
2 F 30c [Not to be included as she took Arnica on day 1 of proving.]
3. F 30c
4. M 30c
5. F 30c
6. M 30c
8. F 30c
9. M Partner of prover 2, slept beside her but didnt take remedy (See note with dream)
10. F 30c
AUSTRALIA September 1998
11 F 30c (Slept on remedy for 3 nights instead of taking as the prover was very sensitive.)
12 F 200c
13 F 6c (Slept on it for 1 night as the prover was very sensitive.)
14 F 12c
15 M 6c
16 M 30c
17 F 200c
18 M 200c
PROVER SEX POTENCY
FINLAND 7.10.98 NEW ZEALAND 6 to 9.9.98
19 B1 F 30c 29 C1 F 30c
20 B2 6c 30 C2 F 6c
21 B3 M 200c 31 C3 M 200c
22 B4 F 12c 32
23 B5 33 C5 F 30c
24 B6 F 6c 34 C6 F 200c
25 B7 35 C7 F 6c
26 B8 36
27 B9 F 30c 37 C9 F 30c
28 B10 F 6c
HOLLAND April 1993
JP1 All provers designated similarly. 30c
HOLLAND January 1997
JP2(provers 1 -14) 30c
SYMPTOM CODE:
NN:PPPc:DD:TT: Where:
NN = Prover number PPPc = c Potency DD = Day TT = Time (only used on day 0)
Eg. [12:200c:3] means:
Prover 12 took a 200c potency or the remedy, and the symptom occurred on day 3.
The day that the provers took the potency is designated day 0 (zero).
MENTALS:
SHOCKED / TRAUMA / ABUSED
2:30c:0: Had something very traumatic happen just before I took it. I rang a friend in Germany; found out she is in hospital dying of cancer. Dream: My brother is dying of cancer.
2:30c:1: Took Arnica before yoga because was afraid I would be stiff and sore.
5:30c:: Memory: being shocked out of where I want to be by Electro-shock Therapy. I keep getting jolted back to some other hard work space; makes me so grumpy. I cant have that nice space; (it's) the one thing I cant have.
8:30c:-: Dream: lying in bed with first ever boyfriend cuddling; beyond blissful, completely content.
Someone phoned and woke me; I felt really pissed off.
11:30c:5: My horse slid over and fell on my leg (left) in the afternoon. Knee, pelvis, sides and shoulders feel strained.
13:6c:1: The proving was a bit of a shock really (exciting) - wasn't expecting much and had a very vivid dream. So powerful -colour and vibrancy.
28:6c:1: Felt that I have been abused. People (children, colleagues etc.) brutally throw the responsibility on my shoulders.
34:200c:3: Feel ignored and used. I mind a child for income. The father not communicating with me; feel upset and tearful. Normally not like this. 34:200c:4: Very much in a don't care mood - did not contact supervisor today.
34:200c:44: Upset with friends suicide - forgot things in the exam. Felt unprepared for it. Forgot to write things down.
37:30c:9-10: Severe pain in lower right jaw on lying down. > sitting up. Feels like nerve pain.
Dentist found an abscess with nerve still alive. Local anaesthetic.
Shaky and shocked after, with throbbing pain and tooth sensitive to cold.
I am tired of pain. I want out (of proving).
37:30c:11 Irritable early in day - shock?
Exhausted by 6.30 pm - couldn't finish meal.
INDIFFERENCE / EXHAUSTION / WHAT'S THE POINT
5:30c:1-3: Walked all day Sunday - was just happy to be there. There was a high happiness that was enjoyable but which exhausted (me) out of proportion. Very sore next day. More exhausted than I need to be; not just on the physical. The exhaustion/sore and stiff state comes first, then the ripped apart (state came).
19:30c:0: Indifference towards everything.
19:30c:2: I am angry. As if I were busy and I feel that there is many 'musts'. I must wash my hair, I must go to job, must, must! Must that and must this and everything is BORING.
21:200c:23: Indifference. Has been very indifferent in sex life for two weeks. The girlfriend said, 'You haven't touched me for two weeks'. I felt like I was on the top of a pillar, 'oh I understand', I felt very cool.
21:200c:23: My friend noticed I was indifferent to the children arguing and making noise. I was in my own world, 'let them shout'.
22:12c:12: Endless exhaustion with depression and self pity.
22:12c:13: Indifference; if something happens, then 'so what'.
24:6c:: Indifferent to feelings that are usually emotionally touching. No desire to hear about difficulties
28:6c:0:6 hours: Indifferent to everything.
Extremely indifferent towards a guest who came to see me.
28:6c:0:6 hours: The flowers I got from husband did not interest me at all. Actually they looked a little withered.
28:6c:-: Indifference. Don`t want to get up in the morning.
Indifference towards work, domestic affairs.
28:6c:38: Unmoved by the death of grandmother who was very dear to me. Normally I would have been emotional and cried a lot. 28:6c:39: Unfeeling. Looking at people and things as an outsider. 28:6c:40: Depression and flu after the death of grandmother. Desire for help and consolation.
29:30c:3: Tired and grumpy - had enough of day and parenting.
LOST CONNECTION / DETACHED / FORGETTING
Prs.3,4,5 and 8:all 30c:0: Forgot to take it on the night agreed upon; they took it the next day.
5:30c:0:I lost the remedy, got another and lost that one, found the first one and took it on the day agreed upon as well as the next day. LOSING IT AND FINDING IT.
3:30c:-: It is so obscure I am really worried I will forget or lose it (ie. her understanding of the remedy after the group meeting).
12:200c:5: Difficult to connect at the moment
13:6c:1: Tried to get it (a dream) all in my diary before I forgot it
16:30c:-: My proving diary got destroyed by my kids - I put it together as best I could (from memory).
18:200c:1: Dreamt about writing out the proving dreams - felt busy - too much happened.
Analysis. There was an urgency to write it out and not to forget. So I dont lose it. I dreamt writing it out in much more detail than I actually did. Felt I have to make sense of it - experience it and process it.
19:30c:1: I talk about matters, things, not about feelings.
21:200c:23: Forgetting things, has to wander in the room many times to get things straight, e.g. when putting the clothes on to the son.
22:12c:0:after 4 hours: Difficult to concentrate and express myself in talking. Had to search for words. Forgot in the middle of a sentence what to say. As if in tar.
22:12c:14: The first two weeks after taking the remedy I felt deceived: I had been given placebo. This in spite of many symptoms.
22:12c:6: Aversion to husband sexually as well as to what he says and does. Feel hurt or think "How dull".
24:6c:: Unable to connect to deeper feelings.
After being told by our supervisor that our communication difficulty may be from the proving remedy they totally lifted and we were closer and more open and honest than before. This shift was very bizarre because it was very sudden and distinct and went from one extreme to the next. And the fact that the shift had occurred just from speaking about the effects of the remedy seemed uncanny
24:6c:-: Unknown deep fear, guilt. Desire to cry, but does not know what to cry for.
24:6c:-: The grief somewhere high, fear of losing feelings. Forgotten somebody.
28:6c:1: Felt very deeply connected with my daughter. Cried together for long. Excluded my husband totally from the connectedness.
19:30c:3: A very strong experience that I am incarnated in my body, I am inside my body, but still fallen down - away from the highways of life. I am only IN ME. No connections. The life only continues as usual. Everyday occurrences, people, the reality exists and runs. Invisible exists etc , but my SELF only is! And it is and is being. No connections - no feeling of movements. A huge, enormous feeling of 'unnecessity'.
NO CONNECTIONS - NO MEANING - NO VALUE for anyone. I only exist. No depression, no fear. Nothing suicidal. Only to be.
However, no direction to go. Only this being, existence makes me cry. When I just have to be. To exist. The period of time I have to be here in this material form - body - I have to be. As if I were a floating ball in the air of life - a reddish, red ball, which the wind is not moving, but the air is carrying - certain kind of buoyant force is keeping quiet. I am in that state, but the state is and is not. No borders, no limits, no force, power one can identify. Only the ball in the air. And I can see everything from the perspective of the bird: rows, cars on the highways, houses, everything. I am, I exist. I am everywhere and nowhere except in the red ball - in my body.
27:30c:-: Didn't get things done as usual, have been postponing things.
29:30c:13: Woke up feeling grumpy and made a decision not to be and it worked. Was feeling detached, impatient, intolerant and heavy - unable to focus on my child's needs.
I had a great day.
34:200c:44: Upset with friends suicide - forgot things in the exam. Felt unprepared for it. Forgot to write things down.
37:30c:0,2,3 and 13: Feel detached - not here.
37:30c:20: Trying to study - finding it difficult, missing out pages of notes - could be that I'm studying Opium.
RELUCTANT TO LOOK AT IT
12:200c::3: Felt a little resentful today that I had to monitor my thoughts, sensations, feelings, emotions etc for this proving. Didnt want to write anything down - didnt want to be aware of how I was feeling or being as you might call it. It was a real effort to actually put pen to paper.
12:200c::4: Spent the day quietly keeping to myself at work. Not really wanting to be around anyone - trying to keep busy and not think about me and my partner (after a difficult time).
13:6c:1: On lying on my pillow and closing my eyes I could see 'flourescent' lights or 'iridescent' blue patterns. Also, a horrid face like a gargoyle or Balinese mask appeared for a second in between the lights. It was an evil face. I didn't want to see it so I got up and went and studied.
16:30c:1: Woke with pain in knee and feeling 'if this is arthritis, I don't want to get old'.
16:30c:14: Didn't even really want to do the proving and had trouble writing this all down, but no problem telling my supervisor.
17:200c:11: I whitewashed the event. I didn't feel a lot of grieving - felt contempt for him then and hadn't seen him for a long time. Felt a bit guilty after he died.
21:200c:10: "Let's call tomorrow. I feel like I would like to quit. Maybe this proving suits to people who don't have anything else to do. There are so many things in my personal life that need to be arranged. At work there are a lot of orders. We'll see tomorrow how it looks like."
21:200c:12: "I quit." "I take too much pressure on this thing." "I can't concentrate to everyday things." "I have bitten a too large a bite." Busy at work, spending a lot of time with the children, the new office takes energy".I swore to myself, "And I won't watch for any symptoms any more. Let the symptoms be, I cannot, this world doesn't revolve if I don't follow."
20:6c:5: Talks about moving away, is not writing down her symptoms. Nothing has happened.
20:6c:: In general she does not want to give me more symptoms, she is not making any notes although she did so carefully one week before the proving.
12:200c::1: Dream: A hamburger, dripping with a strange coloured red stuff which I presumed to be blood.
Analysis: Hamburger - I like them. Had one that afternoon. I like meat - not worried about any ethical issue. So it was such a strange image; incongruous as I never associate hamburgers with cruelty to animals or anything like that. Watery blood slowly oozing out. It was bizarre - couldnt put any meaning to it at. It didnt affect me. I have had an aversion to eating meat since; never bothered by eating meat before.
I ask her to imagine being the hamburger: 'I am the meat in the hamburger. I feel really compressed - I cant move - there are things on top and under me - not comfortable - not happy here. Im not where Im supposed to be (ie. in a healthy living thing). Humans have put me here. Makes me feel sick to my stomach that humans could do this to me. The bleeding - grieving - my way of crying. Oozing. (On the verge of tears now.) Makes me feel hopeless - nothing I can do about being this meat'.
As Prover: The issue is there and I choose not to listen to it. I love animals and Im not comfortable with the lengths people go to fatten up cattle etc, but I choose not to listen to my sub-conscious thoughts on that. I feel sorry for the meat. I see the meat as a bit of a victim too - resentful to humans for doing that. I used to be like the meat - the victim: nothing I can do about this; other people doing it to me. [See also under SELF DISGUST]
OUT OF BALANCE / UNSTABLE
12:200c::5: Feel emotionally unstable - relationship has been difficult
12:200c::83: Pre-menstrual tension since proving:
Depression with panic attacks on first day of menses.
- sudden onset (panic attacks) and intense.
- Irrational thoughts:
- he (my boyfriend) is going to leave me.
- I can't cope with life/work.
- On verge of tears all time.
- Very sensitive - reacting all the time. Feel not in control; emotionally and mentally.
12:200c::83: Depression before and during bleeding till stop bleeding.
- I don't want to be anywhere; home; work; with people or alone.
- Very irrational.
- Can't sit still yet too lethargic to move. Feel very heavy.
- Wanting to cry all the time. Crying > temporarily.
22:12c:3: Reacting sensitively to what other people say or do - positive or negative.
22:12c:-: Deep sadness lasting for a short period at a time.
22:12c:: Sometimes I get nervous because of my confusion. Does this ever go by. Sometimes totally indifferent.
34:200c:2: Emotionally labile about being ignored and used by the people around me. Felt fearful. > keeping busy.
35:6c:11: Talkative and irritable during menses. Swinging from one to the other very fast.
35:6c:14: Happy and talkative in morning; anxious and dread in afternoon. (Menses almost stopped.)
JP2:(prover 7): Made ironical remarks. Irritability alternating with a feeling of sadness and loss.
SELF DISGUST / GARBAGE
(See also Female Sexual)
18:200c:1: Dream: Putting out the garbage can - a wheely bin. (My feet were walking in bed. I was mumbling in sleep.)
Analysis. I never put the garbage can out. An isolated event. I pushed it. Something of a struggle with it; hard to do. As if a heavy/full feeling in solar plexus.
What do you think is in it? Shit.
19:30c:2: The dreams were confusing, even repulsive, full of actions. I was taught, how a man should be sexually treated with 'hands'. I dreamed about a very close friend of mine, whom I suppose to be bisexual (a man), as well as about my old, good male colleague, who is already retired. Confusing, unpleasant, even disgusting dreams.
19:30c:2: Eating is disgusting as well as drinking.
19:30c:2: Ugly state - feeling that I am ugly.
22:12c:4: Smell acute. Noticed all kinds of odours around. Sensation as if I would smell bad, too. A shower does not help.
22:12c:5: Everything I touched seemed to be dirty. Desire to wash hands frequently.
24:6c:-: Self disgust, sexuality increased and anger coming up. Desire to feel and to have salt-baths in order to clean oneself, depressed.
28:6c:2: Disgust towards a relative. Did not even say hello to her, when she entered into my car. Did not say a single word to her during the drive. Looked disgustingly at her.
12:200c::1: Dream: A hamburger, dripping with a strange coloured red stuff which I presumed to be blood.
Analysis: Hamburger - I like them. Had one that afternoon. I like meat - not worried about any ethical issue. So it was such a strange image; incongruous as I never associate hamburgers with cruelty to animals or anything like that. Watery blood slowly oozing out. It was bizarre - couldnt put any meaning to it at. It didnt affect me. I have had an aversion to eating meat since; never bothered by eating meat before.
I ask her to imagine being the hamburger: 'I am the meat in the hamburger. I feel really compressed - I cant move - there are things on top and under me - not comfortable - not happy here. Im not where Im supposed to be (ie. in a healthy living thing). Humans have put me here. Makes me feel sick to my stomach that humans could do this to me. The bleeding - grieving - my way of crying. Oozing. (On the verge of tears now.) Makes me feel hopeless - nothing I can do about being this meat'.
As Prover: The issue is there and I choose not to listen to it. I love animals and Im not comfortable with the lengths people go to fatten up cattle etc, but I choose not to listen to my sub-conscious thoughts on that. [See also under RELUCTANT TO LOOK AT IT]
COMMUNICATION / WRITING
12:200c:3: Problems with communication between my partner and myself have started to develop. Have trouble discussing things with him so I pretend everything is OK
12:200c:3: I tried to communicate with my partner about the way I was feeling - but he took it as I was blaming him. Weve both been quite closed to each other and to communicating, which is not like us. He was not responsive to my attempts to communicate which left me feeling rejected and unwanted. We dont normally have difficulty talking and dont usually blame each other for how were feeling - but at the moment were having real problems. If I think of it in an imaginary kind of way - normally our communication and relationship in general is like a circle - no (or few anyway) rough edges, easy, completed (we generally come to a resolution). But at the moment, were like a triangle - with sharp points, not smooth and flowing, with painful sharp, angry comments! Found it very difficult to express myself and he was very defensive. He felt that I was blaming him for the way I felt and I felt he was pushing me away and shutting me out. No resolution was really found.
15:6c:14: Wrote an article for a magazine - was asked to do it last week. Chi society magazine. So vast - too vast to explain. Matter isn't solid - not even energy, but potential energy. Not fixed. How this relates to everything - goes over peoples heads - they're not going to have the right lingo (language) - start getting mixed up in semantics.- someone can only assign a meaning to a word by experience - to express it in language is impossible. I can only have my own understanding . Other people get hooked into where they are on their path. It's too emotive - I've decided not to talk about it - others talk to me in judgement as if I'm an egoist. Not prepared to share ideas with people who aren't open to them. Also about quantifying my ideas in this reality. Tying the ideas down to language which is amorphous and 2D is a big problem - space time thing is different. Paradoxes others don't understand, and I can't explain it. Those who don't need to have it explained are the only ones who would understand it!! Talking to others who understand not only affirms beliefs, it affirms knowledge. Takes me back there somehow.
Feeling 'dammed if I do tell, dammed if I don't.'
15:6c:15: My thoughts on it (a realisation) this morning are that with information of an important, but unbelievable nature, it's a feeling of 'dammed if you do, dammed if you don't' tell anyone about it. This clearly reflects my feelings about the information I have received over the years and have almost never been able to reveal to others without trouble. The idea of writing and publishing is beginning to look attractive as it is less personal and I can offer the information to my fellows without coping the usual emotional beating.
18:200c:1: Dreamt about writing out the proving dreams - felt busy - too much happened.
Analysis. There was an urgency to write it out and not to forget. So I dont lose it. I dreamt writing it out in much more detail than I actually did. Felt I have to make sense of it - experience it and process it.
27:30c:16: I wrote notes on what I have to do on Internet. US
28:6c:17: Suddenly I understood what was wrong in the communication between my family members. CS
29:30c:1: Got through a lot of work today. My writing was very small - 1/3 the size it usually is.
35:6c:6: Annoyed with communicating with incompetent people or people 'trying it on'.
JP2:(prover 3): Had problems with her husband, and stayed with a friend.
CONFUSION / CHAOS / AS IF IN A DREAM / VACANT
22:12c:: Chaos in mind and on the desk. Piles of paper, books and files everywhere. Black outs in memory.
22:12c:8: Confusion about time and place. As if in a dream. A mess with timetables and dates. Checking and rechecking things. Feeling of getting lost when driving.
22:12c:8: As if head full of thick, sticky stuff which moves very slowly.
28:6c:20: Irrational working in a meeting. Lots of files on the table. Confusion. A mess.
29:30c:0: Feeling light and a bit floaty.
29:30c:1: Felt a bit dazed - like I'd got out of bed too quickly.
31:200c:0: Light headed for a few minutes then spacey for the next hour. Had to really concentrate on what I was doing. Wasn't really there.
35:6c:18: Confusion getting myself ready to go out, had to go back three times before I remembered everything.
37:30c:3: Today has been horrible - I have felt detached from reality and not able to make much sense of what was happening. I tried to not think about myself, no >. I walked really fast for 15 minutes, no >. I rested when I got home and then about 8.30 pm the spaced out feeling left and I felt really tired.
37:30c:10: I'm tired of having pain - what else can happen this week. (After migraine and tooth abscess)
37:30c:12: Feel spaced out at times.
37:30c:13: Felt dizzy and vacant as though it wasn't me. Looked very pale. Wanted to put my head down. Then went hot and face flushed. Went outside and felt >. Then needed to lie down. Was told I look green - felt dizzy, vacant and unwell. Was very calm. Was told I kept moving my head as if I was delirious; I said my head was floppy. Her impression was that I didn't really know what I was doing. I can't remember any of this. Time seemed compressed - it felt about 15 mts but was told it was about 75 mts.
37:30c:20: Trying to study - finding it difficult, missing out pages of notes - could be that I'm studying Opium.
TIME DISTORTED
19:30c:30: Somehow time has (been) distorted, I am late by one day all the time. I thought it was Wednesday when it really was Thursday.
21:200c:23: : Lately I have been watching the time and the clocks very carefully, I can't explain why. 'What time is it?'.
22:12c:0: Stared at the watch immediately after taking the remedy and could not understand the time. It was with great difficulty that I finally understood what time was.
22:12c:4: As if time goes too fast.
22:12c:8: Confusion about time and place. As if in a dream. A mess with timetables and dates. Checking and rechecking things. Feeling of getting lost when driving.
27:30c:20: I noticed that I don´t care if I´m late. Usually I hate being late, now I think that the others can wait for me, it doesn't matter.
27:30c:20: I started to wear a watch, which is unusual for me.
27:30c:26: Mixed up the dates. Came one week early to a meeting. I was driving to another town for the meeting 3 days ago. Today I noticed that the meeting is next week and not today. This is not like me. US
27:30c:32: Forgetful. I forgot (left) my calendar at another place. US
28:6c:16: Mistakes all the time with dates, hours, timetables, addresses.
Checked frequently the times. Feeling that a meeting had taken place already yesterday.
Looked at the watch and thought I was going to be too late (unusual).
35:6c:2: Seem to be remembering things to do just in the nick of time.
JP2:(prover 1) Today her husband was amazed, because she wasnt in a hurry to get her things done, which she normally always has to do. CS
JP2:(prover 2): Didnt mind being late.
JP2:(prover 3): Didnt bother about coming late to the seminar, first did her shootings. Normally she wouldnt behave like this.
JP2:(prover 8): No hurry getting in time to the bus station.
JP2:(prover 10): Confusion. She and all the members of the family made mistakes in time. F the daughter had set her alarm clock too early. A shopkeeper gave the wrong amount of money back.
CONTRADICTIONS / INCONGRUITY
21:200c:7: On the one hand I feel sharp and well rested and calm, tired on the other.
6:30c:1: Dream: A client is non-complaint. She keeps asking me about her remedy - she wants to know all about it but its as if she will never take it. Shes a very soft person - not insistent. But she asked many questions, which isnt a problem.
35:6c:7-10: Feel alive at 5 pm, as if could start day again. Dead sleep; nothing woke me.
MAKING MISTAKES / CLUMSY
21:200c:23: "I have been distracted, forgotten or mixed words easily."
24:6c:-: Mistakes in writing, time and space.
27:30c:26: Mixed up the dates. Came one week early to a meeting. I was driving to another town for the meeting 3 days ago. Today I noticed that the meeting is next week and not today. This is not like me. US
28:6c:16: Mistakes all the time with dates, hours, timetables, addresses.
Checked frequently the times. Feeling that a meeting had taken place already yesterday.
Looked at the watch and thought I was going to be too late (unusual).
28:6c:16: Came too early to a seminar. Thought it was a wrong weekend because nobody else was there . It took a long time before I understood to look at the program. I felt very light (vs. heavy) when realizing that I had come so early. Started arranging the classroom to get more space in it.
28:6c:16: I opened the computer and realised that it was my daughters. Jumped into the car and started driving home like mad. At home I saw my daughter working with her computer. On the way back to the seminar place I saw my car in front of me. I panicked. Whose car was I driving? I stopped and went out to see the colour of the car I was driving. The car was my own. Strange feeling. I did not remember the colour of the seats of my car.
34:200c:4: Made two recipes and forgot to put all the ingredients in. Unlike me.
37:30c:3: I'm making mistakes over simple things.
37:30c:6: Went to break an egg into a bowl but broke the end next to the bowl.
37:30c:8: Memory poor - forgot I was meant to go out for lunch.
37:30c:12: Making mistakes with spelling.
JP1:(2 provers): Dreams: Cannot succeed from clumsiness.
IRRITABILITY
12:200c::30+: After menses: irritable. Trying to cope.
17:200c:7-12: Irritable and tired.
Irritable in mornings and late evening before sleep.
18:200c:6: Irritable before getting a cold; didnt have time for slowness and things not going my way.
19:30c:1: I was irritated as soon as I woke up in the morning. As if my hands were bound and that I am not capable to work out my day as I wanted. Programmed by other people also for the rest of the whole week.
19:30c:2: I am still irritated and angry, dissatisfied, aggressive. Usually I can cry out this kind of dissatisfaction - now not! I cannot meditate. Meditation is impossible.
27:30c:8: Irritability. I was very irritated at my mother when she asked so many questions.
Does she have to ask so many questions all the time, I thought.
I didn't feel like talking to my supervisor either. Do we always have to analyse everything, I thought and felt irritated. Spoke very shortly to the supervisor. Told her that there is nothing to tell today. US
35:6c:1: Irritable about incompetence. Telecom did not transfer work phone numbers as requested. Usually I am understanding about paper work getting lost / not acted upon. I felt irritated and spoke in an aggressive blaming manner.
35:6c:1: Grumbling about conversations that waste my time.
35:6c:6: Annoyed with communicating with incompetent people or people 'trying it on'.
35:6c:11: Talkative and irritable during menses. Swinging from one to the other very fast.
37:30c:3: Feel cranky - can't describe it.
37:30c:3: I feel vague and angry about that.
JP2:(prover7): Made ironical remarks. Irritability alternating with a feeling of sadness and loss.
ANGER / RAGE
12:200c::60+: Last month and month before:
Anger before menses. I end up crying on the floor.
19:30c:1: My anger, indignation is growing, dissatisfaction towards my life. The inner rage that you cannot arrange the important basic pieces of your life, like work, relationships with people, your financial situation, even your spiritual growth.
19:30c:2: 19:30c:2: I am angry. As if I were busy and I feel that there is many "must". I must wash my hair, I must go to job, must, must! Must that and must this and everything is BORING.
21:200c:23: Impatience and rage in traffic. "Many times if someone doesn't use the indicator (of the car) I feel like I could go and kick the car, I have such a rage inside me. I swear to pedestrians in traffic. I think: I'll bump into this granny who rushed in front of my car.
< unknown people who don't obey the rules and lead into dangerous situations.
22:12c:30: Rage from trifles. I want to leave everything.
27:30c:2: Got very angry when I attended a meeting together with the inhabitants of this house. Many of them are old ladies and they are always afraid of changes. I try to please everybody but they (some old ladies) are never satisfied. I reacted stronger than normally. I was trembling out of anger. US
35:6c:11: Irritable, aggressive, upset. I saw another prover become unwell. She went white, then red and hot, had to leave class and had to lie down. I wondered who was in control of the proving and about the support that is given and worried about how safe the whole thing is. I felt angry that she was so unwell and fear that the same thing might happen to me. Very upset. (Menses began unexpectedly at the same time this was happening with the mind.)
37:30c:16: Angry - negative feeling - feel I am going against the world today.
Looking for a fight - I'm a 'bitch' today.
LONGING FOR LOVE
19:30c:0: Sadness about the fact, that I am living alone, lack of the loved one.
22:12c:19: Longing for love.
22:12c:20: Need to be beautiful, attractive, desirable. Desire to look sexy and wear sexy clothes. Desire to be kissed, hugged and held. Feeling as if other men watch me with interest
LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE
21:200c:5:: had strong anxious feeling, want of self confidence: "nothing comes out of it". a little panicky feeling.
37:30c:3: I felt as though people were not taking me seriously, that I was small and of no regard to them.
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
35:6c:4: Performance anxiety playing Pictionary. Even when I knew that it was easy to draw. Desire to hide and not take part.
35:6c:35: Fear of exams less. I am able to see that if I fail then it is not the end of my life.
37:30c:4: When talking about exams felt a sudden panic about the exams in 7 weeks time - hyperventilated. (Unusual)
ANXIETY AND FEAR
19:30c:13: For the first time during the proving I am worried about my health.
22:12c:4: Internal restlessness, like fluttering. Is something wrong? As if a bad conscience about not having done something.
22:12c:32: Guilty feelings: I have not done everything I should.
27:30c:12: I was terrible frightened, more than usual when there was a fire alarm In the middle of the night and my husband had to leave (he belongs to the volunteers). My heart was beating hard.
Terrified that something would happen.
27:30c:19: I was driving my car when I suddenly felt as if I could not see properly.
I got tense and feared that something would happen. I've never felt scared or nervous while driving the car before. This I felt during the whole proving. Fear while driving, < driving after it has got dark, because I feel that I cant see so well.
31:200c:22: As if something bad will happen. > keeping myself busy.
35:6c:11: Fear when going to purchase an item that I don't have my purse. Even on the second purchase in my lunch time. Fear that my purse isn't in my handbag.
35:6c:16: Unsettled and anxious - during meeting felt emotionally exposed, tried to make a contribution but got half way and totally lost my train of thought. Took rescue remedy.
35:6c:20: Anxiety about a confrontational letter received in response to a note I left about 'dope' being smoked at work.
35:6c:20: Anxiety in bed about anything I thought of.
35:6c:21: Anxious about any sort of conflict.
37:30c:4: Feel jumpy and anxious about things I normally don't worry about.
HOPELESSNESS / DESPAIR / NO MEANING
19:30c:0:Feeling of incapacity to have any opportunities or power to change the not-working-pieces in your life.
19:30c:1: I was irritated as soon as I woke up in the morning. As if my hands were bound and that I am not capable to work out my day as I wanted. Programmed by other people also for the rest of the whole week.
19:30c:2: If I only would be able to have this life to be lived through, as nothing is going to be better, get improved, changed.
19:30c:2: The life is uncomfortable. If only something happened, some sudden change, improvement. Some miracle!
19:30c:3: First the anger, indignation, restlessness, irritation, sadness. The experience, knowledge that you cannot change or arrange the pieces/puzzles to the proper places.
19:30c:30: Life feels meaningless, it doesn't matter, it has no sense.
SUICIDE
29's Supervisor:30:0 minus 1: I got into work - my boss 'S' got a letter re her supervision of someone in the proving. We established we were both involved (in the proving). At 12md that day a women came in wanting a remedy to help her die. She was suicidal - completely detached. She was not reachable - totally detached. The phone rang - I took it - so 'S' served this woman (I almost served her). 'S' prescribed Aurum and Bach Flowers - then as the woman left 'S' was very affected by it. 'She is going to kill herself.' I never see her affected by clients - ever. She leaned on the counter - staring after her. I was detached - very unusual for me. I don't know this sort of detachment in myself. I have been suicidal this year myself. I've been there - though I'm safe now. By the end of that day I wasn't handling it very well - became scattered, confused and I couldn't concentrate.
34:200c:37: A friend committed suicide.
JP2:(prover 11): She took the remedy in front of her husband and asked him: Beware that I dont take a knife in my breast.
SEARCHING / NEED TO UNDERSTAND / NEED TO CREATE ORDER
2:30c:1: Dream: I am trying to find out the meaning of a picture that has been in my family for a long time.
19:30c:0-1: Yesterday evening I did something I never would have done, if I had been in my senses. I called to my friend and asked him really very, very delicate and intimate questions. Of course I asked him to overlook this and forgive me my behaviour. I only explained him that I always have to understand everything. What is the reason for this and that etc.
19:30c:1: A need to arrange the life, put it into order.
27:30c:14: I made up lists of food and menus for the family for the following two weeks.
I have written shopping lists during the last week. I have been planning because I feel that my brain is not working as normal. Difficult to plan, function and co-ordinate things. US
37:30c:39: All night dreaming about exam and remedies, the dream was like a series of questions.
JP2:(prover 10): DREAM: Solving problems all night. Woke up screaming Is it Alumina or Alumen?
JP2:(prover 12): DREAM: Solving questions about if certain things are moral.
RE-CONNECTION (Curative)
17:200c:4: Dream: I was in central Australia -desert with trees, and scrub and a creek - absolutely beautiful! - greens and oranges. Aboriginals were in the creek collecting turtles or something. It was vivid, panoramic and stunning. I felt very connected to it (never been there). A knowing that I am part of it. A very profound feeling.
Analysis: It was something I always knew - perhaps forgot it. I knew it as a kid - growing up in the hills (of Southern NSW). Was very connected to the country there. Then went to school and was socialised. I had a communication with the land. In this dream I understood how the Aboriginals believe they belong to the land - I felt it.
17:200c:4: After dream of connection with the Australian land, I sprang out of bed; was euphoric all day. I could rise above the mundanities of life; could see the bigger picture.
17:200c:7: Dream: Jabiluka (A uranium mine site on Aboriginal land in Northern Australia) - felt the desperation of the people amongst so much beauty. Brilliant greens and ochres. Despair of the protesters and the custodians (of the land). Time is running out for the Aboriginals.
Analysis: It is about the annihilation of their race. I felt an empathy with the people. Some of my ancestry is Aboriginal (My Grandfather's Grandfather).
17:200c:11: Dream: I went into the ocean for a swim with a man. I got washed back in by a huge wave. I had to get out quick as the white wash was very strong. It suddenly grew and became dangerous. I thought 'that's too strong for me, I'll just stay here on the sand thanks'. Had to grab my children.
Analysis: The ocean was beautiful turquoise colour, peaceful and cool; all of a sudden a huge wave smashed us on the beach. Just remembered the man was a friend of mine who died. I went into the water thinking it was OK; it became too emotional; had to get out. I whitewashed the event. I didn't feel a lot of grieving - felt contempt for him then and hadn't seen him for a long time. Felt a bit guilty after he died. To get in would have been too deep for me
I felt the dream was cleaning that one out - it resolved the grief.
17:200c:12: Dream: People importing red earth from the centre (of Australia) to Byron Bay High School gardens - as it was more fertile for growing food.
Analysis: My son goes to Byron Bay High. They used to sand mine near there and there may be radio-active sand left there like at Jabiluka. The red earth from the centre was much more fertile. The red earth is what we all come from -elemental to us.
17:200c:14: Dream: Upset with my mother over something I felt she would not look at - a family issue. Felt frustration, sadness and despondency.
Woke up crying during the night. I usually don't cry about problems with my mother; it (the crying) released something. I usually get angry and despondent with my mother.
21:200c: Most important as I can say it, "I feel that I have became much near to who I AM!
- I have felt myself much more open-minded and Ive got a strong self-trust, because I can express
my feelings very easy.
- If something makes me angry, depressed, anguish, fearful etc., I can cope myself much better, and after letting out those emotions, I feel good.
- My sexual-life has been balanced to the state that I can enjoy it better than ever.
29:30c:1: Felt quite reminiscent of the past today - the dream about my teens and the music - took me straight back to a friendship I had - right back there very quickly.
35:6c:0: within 15 minutes: I remembered the name of 'Edgar Allan Poe' that I was discussing with my flatmate before I took the remedy. I would normally take 1-2 days to remember.
CLEAR / CONNECTED / REVEALED / REALISATION (Curative)
15:6c:2: Realisation about the nature of matter, space, quantum energy etc. So VAST - in an instant volumes of information was realized. An understanding that had to be experienced. Outside of language. No emotional reactions; it just is. In a flash I had an understanding of sub-atomic energy stuff. Has implications in all other areas, such as how Homoeopathy works. Had been reading heaps about it. Came to me while making toast. No point talking about it. Easily lost - too huge; too difficult.
19:30c:1: I am in me, in my body. I am incarnated in my body wholly, holy and totally.
19:30c:1: My sense to observe, perceive, elicit is total, perfect.
21:200c:23: : I have been very straightforward with my finances. If someone owes me, I say: 'Now give me the money'.
27:30c:0:6 hours: I feel euphoric, as if hovering on the clouds. Everything is clear, like in the book of "nine revelations". I feel one with the nature (this lasted for four hours).
28:6c:18: I felt being in contact with everything on every level. Very grounded.
28:6c:-: After a break of a long lasted friendship (the other part broke it) I felt very light and determined. I don´t let anybody abuse me any more.
34:200c:0: Walking down the street with a smile on my face and looking straight at people coming toward me; wanting to see their reaction.
35:6c:5: My mind feels clearer today, I have got through a reasonable amount of work which I was not able to do last week.
35:6c:23: Clear, no anxiety.
37:30c:1: Feel very alert and wide awake this morning.
JP2:(prover 7): All senses very acute.
NEUTRALITY / STABLE / CALM / GROUNDED (Curative)
12:200c::1: Dream: A primitive see-saw (made of solid blocks of wood and not bolted or anything) which was not moving, had no one on it but was equal.
Analysis: As the see-saw: I feel quite different (to the meat). Balanced emotionally and physically -f eels very good. I dont need anything else like people or bolts to be balanced. Feel free. (Cries) I am like a see-saw in my depression; I need my parents and partner to keep me balanced. Would be nice to be able to do that myself. I felt balanced like that on the first day. Balance was just there. I just have to trust myself and let go of other people. It is there in me somewhere.
12:200c::1: Woke feeling reasonably refreshed and somewhat emotionally neutral or stable. I feel a certain matter of fact-ness about it - ie. Oh well, time to get up. CS
12:200c::5: More grounded, down to earth.
13:6c:1: I had a feeling of contentment all day even body temperature wise I felt comfortable all day.
18:200c:4: After work my car broke down - an electrical problem. Sitting by the side of the road - it didnt bother me - I usually get very angry and agitated in such situations. It all worked out OK. I had a pleasant time - talked to a guy and his wife took my kids in. He gave me his tractor battery. CS
18:200c:7: Another car incident - ran out of petrol. Didnt bother me (usually bother me lots).CS
19:30c:1: Empathy towards other people is controlled. I give only, what I want or I feel I can give
19:30c:11: At mind level: I am very well inside of myself. Even though during this proving there has been a lot of emotional turmoil in my life, I have behaved directly, rationally with no emotions and calmly.
19:30c:26: I am calm, thinking that things just have to be done, one after another. Whole life just have to be done. It is like a sum-total of all things. I am well inside of myself, whole. At some level I know that there is no coincidence and I can not affect anything but to face them with calm, the way they are.
21:200c:1: 3 days earlier I had a letter that said I had to move from the rented office I have now. Normally I would have been outrageous; now went very calmly to the landlord and took it easy, asked straightly what was going on. "was it me who went to that office?" didn't have the need to shout or rage.
21:200c:4:: was more patient with the kids. "Laughed at things normally irritable to me". "Usually I would have shouted."
21:200c:5: "I was very positive with my girlfriend. I didn't get irritated in the things that normally irritated me."
21:200c:6: Has a calm, strong feeling. Had a good week-end with the children.
21:200c:20: "I could learn to say 'no' when the ex-wife asks me to take the kids. On the other hand I don't feel restricted with them, I don't try to 'be' with them in a special way, just to be there."
21:200c:23: When talking with the ex-wife had a very calm, just stated the facts 'oh this kind of thing', didn't feel touched by her problems. (before would have merged into her feelings). At work also has taken things very calmly, if some order didn't come in certain time.
21:200c:23: 'Two times the customer has been waiting for me behind the door and asking, did they have an appointment or not. I noticed that I had forgotten, and very calmly asked them to wait and then went to see them without great apologies.'
30:6c:2: Feeling calmer than usual.
34:200c:1: Feel blasé - as if I don't really care if anything bad happens. 'She'll be right' almost as if I want something to happen to see what can be done about it. Feel generally happy and not worried.
34:200c:8+: Bought an expensive sofa, even though couldn't really afford it. Got it home and enjoy it so much. I can 'live' at my place now!
37:30c:1: Feel very happy and no one can upset me today.
37:30c:38: Feel very grounded and secure in my life.
NO FEAR - JUST ACTED (Curative?)
21:200c:5: I dreamed that I was attacked at the street by some karate guy. I had him on the ground 'zik-zak', just like that, and he begged me to let him go. I didn't have any fear.
35:6c:23: I challenged the General manager about a process he was suggesting. No fear - it just happened.
JP2:(prover 4): Dream: Vertigo backward while standing at the bus station. Woke up, alone in a hotel room. I had the sensation that somebody is coming behind my back. I have no fear. I woke up several times from this dream and got up to look in my house.
SENSATIONS AS IF
19:30c:4: As if I had returned from a very long trip, during which I processed again the changes happened in my life and got rid of them more and more. (There have been big changes in my life during the last three years).
22:12c:13: Chirping in the head.
24:6c:-: Delusion of eye falling out when falling asleep.
28:6c:18: I felt very light, I could have jumped like a kangaroo ball. If I were in an aeroplane , I could float because I felt myself so light.
30:6c:0:10 minutes: Sensation of being small enough to crawl under the carpet.
35:6c:0:10 minutes: Brain feel like it has contracted to work better.
35:6c:0:10 minutes: Vision that my hands were 4 time their normal size.
35:6c:0: As if a body of water is inside and underneath right breast; moving around like heavy liquid.
35:6c:0:A change in the energy around my breast bone; a feeling that something is going on with my heart.
35:6c:1 & 15: On walking upstairs as if a hot patch on the stairs; as if a heater was on in that small part. Also happened when I came back down stairs - felt it in whole body.
35:6c:2 & 14: As if someone is kissing my lips, in bed on going to sleep. Same sensation on waking; as if being kissed.
35:6c:8 & 14: As if someone holding my hand; first left, then both. Felt reassuring.
OTHER SYMPTOMS
12:200c::7: Sensitive to light, noise and smells.
15:6c:-: Was very attracted to a shell pendent - said to be of a design 5,000 years old - an amorphic figure.
19:30c:0: Sensitiveness towards the feelings of other people extremely great.
19:30c:2: Restlessness and inner dissatisfaction is increasing.
19:30c:2: I am waiting for evening, so that I can be on my own - QUIET and think about everything, to contemplate.
22:12c:6: Forgetful. Cannot concentrate. Slowness in thinking and acting.
24:6c:-: Interest in the life of Aboriginals.
27:30c:11: I was thinking of sex even while driving my car alone. Very unusual. US
27:30c:27: Thinking of sex all the time. Romantic sex. I attended a lecture and I was fantasizing romantic, sexual things about the lecturer. Daydreaming about sex.
27:30c:34: I've got sex on my mind all the time.
29:30c:0:10 minutes: Immediate desire to dance - funky music, up loud. Felt giggly and chuckling to myself.
29:30c:3: Studying a case and became really affected by the music, clicking my fingers a lot. Had to put my pen down and boogie to the music. Compelled.
34:200c:11: Procrastinating over an assignment - just pottering around.
35:6c:2: While thinking, talking under my breath with lips moving. While reading, also talking under my breath about what I am reading.
35:6c:5: Something about me looks harder, more determined - something about my eyes, but not sure what.
35:6c:5: Tunes keep going round in my head, they change.
35:6c:6: The person on the phone is known in advance - tutting and sighing, pulling faces before answering call.
DREAMS:
TRAUMA / ABUSE / SHOCK / GRIEF
6:30c:1: Dream: Have sex and my partner pulls away quickly - withdrawing as soon as orgasm occurs; immediately gone. No nice time afterwards lying around. Felt surprised, shocked and separate.
19:30c:0: I was walking in crowd with a Indian woman or aboriginal woman or girl in Helsinki city. She was telling me about her traumatic childhood. There had been sexual abuse, incest etc. I told her that I had gone through similar kind of situations at least in mind level, like incest, although in reality it had not happened in my life. Then we went to tram stop and the tram came immediately.
24:6c:-: The grief somewhere high, fear of losing feelings. Forgotten somebody.
29:30c:1: I was a teen - with the people I had gone to school with. I was the centre of attention - lots of action - but can't remember what it was. Felt wonderful!! Feeling of being chosen - successful in myself.
Somewhere in the waking time I had an awareness that the dream wasn't true - that wasn't how it was when I was at school. What a shame it hadn't been like that. Felt sadness.
29:30c:11: That my landlord moved back and started moving all their stuff back into my house. I was sitting on the lounge watching it all happen feeling horrified. I decided I better get up and pack. Started packing. I was horrified at first, then just got on with it.
I feel as secure as one can in renting here. I have had this trauma in having to move before. Next day I thought a lot about moving. Feel in transition; on the edge of something.
34:200c:12: 'J' driving his tanker quite fast - he is going through a gate - hops out and opens the gate while letting the truck drive through - shutting the gate then running to jump into his moving tanker. His tanker seems to be going faster and he trips and falls and can't catch it up. It drives off over a hill and through a house, then into a well or something. Puts a hole right through the house. I don't think anyone was killed ( which was my concern as I watched.) See a women still sitting in a rocking chair with an amazed look on her face - shock - she is sitting on the side and obviously survived.
[A family friend suicides several weeks later.]
35:6c:4: I was swimming the Cook Strait when some sharks started circling me. I was unaware of their activity. A dolphin comes to my rescue by alerting me to the sharks and also taking me to a crop of rocks. There were four rocks out of the water with a cane stool balanced on them, plus a shallow area. I had to stand on the cane stool. I was then waiting for the sharks to jump at me, to knock me off the stool. I was afraid theat I would fall into the water and get ripped apart.
37:30c:17: Dream:: Was working in a shop and was asked to take some papers to an office. I walked to deliver the papers, then walked back and was still carrying the papers. When I got back I was yelled at by the man because the jug had boiled dry and I noticed that the gas stove was on and burning the plastic thing on top. The man and another man who didn't say much yelled at me that I was useless and not doing my job properly. They left and I cleaned up. Later I went out to talk to S and because I felt humiliated, I pulled the drapes back in a big lounge and spoke to her without looking at her. She was just starting to talk and I was woken by the phone.
I woke startled but the feelings of humiliation and inferiority stayed with me while writing up dream.
JP2:(prover 5): I went for a picnic with two girls. It was a sunny day. We sat down on a huge field with coloured grass, plants growing wildly around. Somebody in the middle of the field comes to us and she got a strange feeling as if she is at war. She ran away to the right. Two men come to her with automatic machine guns. The metal is shining. One man wanted the girls to come, which they did. The soldiers put the two girls together and said: Now we have fun. The soldiers suddenly perceived the girls as adult women. The men were excited and at the same time felt guilt, that they didn't see the women as girls.
JP2:(prover 6): I was travelling in the underground, making malicious remarks to others, laughing and mocking them. I wanted to make fun. Suddenly a desire to cut off the head of the person opposite him. Everything in the dream was blue and black. Desire to have something metal in my hands. Than I woke up from a stinging pain in my left forehead.
JP1:(3 provers) Dreams of Rape.
JP1:(3 provers): Dreams of injuries to: Breasts, lumbago from overstrain, tennis elbow.
JP1:(6 provers): Dreams of Feeling of astonishment.
JP2:(prover 9): DREAM: Wanted to stab with a metal pin in the eye of her friend who was sitting next to her.
JP2:(prover 12): Dream: A person fell slipped and was killed under a bus.
DANGER / THREAT
16:30c:2: Dream: There were masses of people together trying to negotiate some kind of agreement. Things were peaceful, then for no apparent reason things got out of control. There were people against each other with wooden bats. I was clearly on one side but I was in contact with someone on the other side, but didn't know if he could be trusted, but seemed to be working for the good of all. I hoped I would not regret giving vital information to the man helping all people. I gave him an access code to a computer to all my sides information. I remember men from the other side coming towards me in double file, orderly hitting their bats against mine, as they jogged past.
Analysis: The general feelings were peaceful negotiation turning to riot and rebellion, with confrontation with tension. The collapse of everything we know but with some order in the chaos or coming back into order. As if happening to everyone else on a feeling level - overwhelming stuff.
JP1:(5 provers) Dreams of Explosions, threats, dark clouds, (nuclear) war
JP1:(3 provers) Dreams of Persecuted by an angry bull.
JP2:(prover 10): Dream: While cutting the bread, she stabbed the bread and said to herself: You cant do that, because it is like stabbing people.
BLOCKED / CANNOT SUCCEED
35:6c:5: Dream: I went to work and found a door had been walled up and a separate entrance needed to be used. The room was also divided in two. I had no idea that it was happening and I had lots of objections to these alterations.
JP1:(2 provers): Dream themes: Cannot succeed from clumsiness.
JP1:(6 provers): Dream themes: The way through is blocked.
JP1:(4 provers): Dream themes: I know I can do it but I cannot succeed.
JP!:(1 prover) Dream: Try again and again, I have a last chance to succeed.
JP1:(7 provers): Dream themes: Something seems to go wrong, but it ends up OK just in time. He defies a bull, and when the bull is persecuting him angry, he just manages to escape.
JP1:(1 prover): Dream: I do it on my own, I need nobody if they prefer not to help me.
JP1:(4 provers): Dream themes: More assertive, also in real life, or too weak to behave assertively.
LOSING THINGS AND FINDING THEM
1:30c:1: Dream: Had a jewellery shop - had four young girls, they were spunky and I didnt trust them. Had to watch them all the time - hovering all the time out the back. Remember walking up the street and someone walked past and brushed against me and walked about 20m past me and I thought he might have nicked (stolen) my wallet - and when I felt for it, it was gone. So I started chasing him and he saw me and took off - I was yelling Pickpocket, stop the thief!- I could hardly make any noise - couldnt make it loud, felt stifled. Finally caught up with him - had him cornered and then he pulled a knife out and started waving it around - then out of the blue this Italian looking guy jumped out and pulled out his knife which was ten times longer and sharp, and he stuck it at his throat. The thief was still playing tough so the Italian guy pressed the knife into his throat and it stuck there - it was sticking straight out and it made him freak. He told us where the wallet was - he had hidden it amongst a group of Aboriginal women in the park. I went over to them and had to talk to them nicely to get them to agree to give my wallet back. [Felt like the Italian guy had two sides - like he was really supporting and helpful and then with no emotion just stuck this guy with a knife.]
31:200c:17: Sitting final medical science exam. Lost the exam paper, went up and got another, lost that in the clutter on my desk, got another and lost that. Felt I was going to 'blow it' after four years of study.
[In real life I received my exam results yesterday.]
34:200c:11: Had dreams - remember waking during the night and remembering a dream and thought I'd remember that one and write about it in the morning - but in the morning I couldn't remember it. I remember thinking that I tried to remember it but alas I couldn't.
34:200c:18: Dreamt my purse, money and car got stolen and I spent a lot of time trying to find them - trying to find people, cops, whoever to help me, and spent a lot of time crying.
37:30c:0: It started off with me learning a dance in this big room that looked like a huge communal lounge. I learnt the dance and was teaching it well - there were 8 dancers. Then it was time for the concert which was also in that room but now there were huge screens to hide the audience....I put my tights on and couldn't find my bag with the rest of my things. I hunted through these rooms full of tables and chairs then more rooms with beds and wardrobes and men's coats hanging on the walls, there were men there, strangers to me - my husbands green coat was there and I hoped my bag was underneath. I started to panic about my bag, throwing things around - then I woke up.
ONLOOKER / NO CONNECTION
9:nil:1: Dream: Working in a factory, decommissioning it with a lot of other people, ripping it apart. Some part of the factory had to be put back together again; couldnt find the parts because all those people had ripped it apart so quickly. I am looking for fluorescent lights but could not find the parts for even one single light, all are different - one bit of this, one of that, nothing fits together.
28:6c:6: Dream: I had got letters but I did not open them.
29:30c:1: Dream: Friends having an argument with lots of emotion - tears, in the middle of their son's birthday party. I was observing.
31:200c:18: Observing a man doing some farm work - he doesn't have enough material to complete the job. On closer examination he actually had plenty but he had hidden or stored it away.
35:6c:1: I had decided to go to a meditation group, they met in a small community room. When I arrived I found that a second group who I also was involved with were also meeting in the same room. I decided to join the second group because I thought they would be more fun. Once inside and started, I wished I had stayed with the first group because they were having more fun. Felt on the outside of both groups.
35:6c:1: Dream: I was a secondary school teacher, subject cooking. I was ready to take my class, the sun shining through the window - no students.
JP1:(4 provers): Dream: One is apart from the group, outsider.
JP1:(5 provers): Dream themes: Aimless onlookers. They look without any emotional connection to scenes of violence against other bleeding people who are murdered, raped, beaten.
JP1:(6 provers): Dream themes: Being an onlooker, without doing something about it.
JP1:(1 prover) Dream No connection with others.
JP1:(1 prover): Dream: Her house is cut off from water- and energy supply. Indignation from this.
COLD / SUPPRESSED / NO EMOTIONS
18:200c:1: Dream series:
2. About skiing - watching from a distance at others do it. Then I was looking up at a skyscraper face covered with snow, covered like a big ski slope. Talking about skying down it - would go so fast you would go straight through the ground.
Analysis. Had an exciting feeling looking at the people skying, as if about to do something. Thrill and anxiety in abdomen. We were just talking about it.
The face of the skyscraper: Looked like a big ski field; bigger than should have been - huge -concave - cant seel the top of it. A pleasant sunny appearance -Idyllic - nice place to visit - felt good - like a flying dream. Lucid - I could direct it a bit.
As the skyscraper: I am rough and bumpy - not visible from a distance.
I am cold and hard and difficult.
I would like to be softer and smoother and warmer.
Idyllic on the surface or from a distance. Reality is a bit harder.
Skiers would have to be careful and show more love - not take me for granted.
It is a new adventure after the garbage is got rid of. Maybe the shit in the garbage can related to the more unseen aspect of the slope. Feel a sadness about old stuff (in himself) that needs to be got rid of.
JP1:(3 provers): Dream themes: Expressionless: Parkinson's disease, England as a symbol of suppressed emotional life.
JP!:(4 provers) Dream themes: Expressionless, smothered.
JP2:(prover 1): Dream: Making calculations with many numbers, has to find out what is more, and what is less. A big black ball is rolling and crushing her. She has no feeling of danger, no connection with the danger. She feels detached and emotionally cold and numb about it. A calculating sort of attitude. The things that are excluded with the calculations are added to the rolling ball. The black ball comes again while talking about homeopathic remedies. It gives a strange, cold feeling, as if it is a technical event, like a computer program. Counting high numbers, in stacks of 100,000 or 1 million. The numbers are ordered in long lines, as in the army. It gives a heavy feeling, and it is cold like metal.
JP2:(prover 13): DREAM: People looked like caricatures with protruding chins in a cold world.
TRYING TO RESOLVE / MAKE SENSE OF / GET HOME
2:30c:1: Dream series:
2) I am trying to find out the meaning of a picture that has been in my family for a long time.
4:30:1: Meeting in a secret underground office. Someone has a mouth gun and fires off several rounds through the closed door of the firing range. Lots of people gather to meet and sit around - it is the meeting for the proving. I go and meet Leslie Letchfield (no such person), the new member I had invited. There are lots of other people arriving also and I ask one what they are doing here. He sais he has a class in discussing currant affairs - several of them have open newspapers. I ask Leslie to move down the other end with our proving group as we cant talk across the whole group. She is very reluctant an I have to persuade her. She comes but then wanders off to look at some plants. My broken fountain pen is in a glass on the table an then seems to be a film of blue ink all over the table. I try and wipe up some spilt water and ink but it is very difficult and it spreads it more. I welcome everyone to the proving meeting. [ I had recently had an argument (fired off my mouth) with a 'Leslie' after our previous proving; she withdrew from our group and my attempts to mend the situation failed. Wiping up the spilt ink (hurts) only spread it.]
16:30c:12: I was somewhere and had to get home but the only way was by boat up a strange river. Someone I knew said 'I have a boat, you can take it'. The river was full of all sorts of hazzards and it was very windy in spots. At the beginning of the journey it was night and I saw with spot light a large school of what looked like Dugong which gave me some apprehension - a spooky feeling. I didn't know what they were going to do. But they just swam off doing their own thing. On this journey home I kept running into the river bank, jetties and wharves. I could not help it, and every time I hit something a bit of damage would happen to the boat. It was becoming progressively more damaged the further I got. Most of the time I would know the boat was going to hit something and I would be off on the bank trying to stop it. Then I got so far and the boat was so damaged I was on the bank and watching the last remains of it sink into the water with a gurgling sound. I knew I had to still get home but just not by boat. I wasn't worried about it.
18:200c:2: Dream series:
3. Dreamt about writing out the proving dreams - felt busy - too much happened.
Analysis. There was an urgency to write it out and not to forget. So I dont lose it. I dreamt writing it out in much more detail than I actually did. Felt I have to make sense of it - experience it and process it.
37:30c:39: All night dreaming about exam and remedies, the dream was like a series of questions.
ABORIGINAL / ANCIENT / ENLIGHTENED / ILLUMINATED
13:6c:1: Dream: We were in a car driving to I think Jamaica. There were a lot of black people (Negroid mix Jamaican's) in my dream. We stopped at a second hand store which was full of old kettles and their particular kind of burner underneath. The burner was not a gas burner but something I did not recognise and I gathered that it was the same sort of power that caused the standard light to illuminate. The guy who owned the place (he was Caucasian) also showed us some ancient form of lighting - a stand which illuminated at the top. There was also some story about how you could cause yourself to become illuminated by some particular method which I've forgotten. The method of illuminating ourselves had something to do with going to a particular place in the forest. We then went into a township where we sat at streel level waiting for someone and watching the locals. They were eating large bowls of colourful fruit cut into big chunks. They were on a higher level of the street than us and mostly hid behind colourful curtaining which hung at the front of all the balconies. On our level at the back of a room an old lady sat on a stool. Her body was as though she had a body suit on. From top to bottom she was a mottled brown - something like brown camouflage.
Analysis: The old woman - totally different to everything else - not colourful - quite and dull; on our level. All brown and mottled, as if burnt. The lady was a strange image - the thing that came to mind was that her jumpsuit or appearance was actually scarring and may have had something to do with the form of power (fuel) which was used for the kettles or light -used unwisely.
As the woman in the dream:' I'm estranged from everyone else because of my skin - had something to do with the illumination thing. That's all I can give.'
As the illuminating stand: 'like a standard lamp with a wire ring at the top that's illuminated. The light was different to any other - a bit like a fluoro or those insect zapping types. It is man made - foreign. As if it had been used 50 - 100 years ago and the people didn't use them anymore. More like rubbish than an antique.'
15:6c:1: Dream series:
1. Had desire to wear rope soled shoes or walk on reed mats. Had images of lots of tall grass or bamboo (from which the sandals and mat were made from).
Analysis: As the rope sandal - made of a dried plant. Gives a comforting feeling. It's purpose is to be used - to be walked all over; providing comfort. It is an extension of the growing life (of the plant) - giving it a larger lease of life than dying and decaying.
2. Digging stacks of money (coins) out of dark mud like stuff (peat). The coins were cold and as if stacked deliberately and buried.
Analysis: The coins and peat were inseparable. The peat was dark, rich and fertile - with nutrients. It may put off older people, but not a child. It was preserving the coins. Coins were shiny, cold, preserved, stacked. Coins were put there deliberately, by an ancient, possibly royal and enlightened culture; not primitive Eg. "Atlantis". In the dream I was a child and my family was there, but not in on it. I didn't tell them. It was OK for the coins to be dug up by a child - innocent. They were just something glittering - not for personal gain. I was more interested in the digging up and finding.
Re both dreams: The coins and peat were outside the house where the mat and shoes were. The reeds grew outside the house and would have decayed and grew up and turned into peat. There was a simplicity about it all - the matting, shoes and innocent child, and this quality was essential to the finding (of the riches).
19:30c:0: Dream: I was walking in crowd with a Indian woman or aboriginal woman or girl in Helsinki city. She was telling me about her traumatic childhood.
15:6c:-: Was very attracted to a shell pendent - said to be of a design 5,000 years old - an amorphic figure. (This symptom is not a dream, but follows this theme.)
24:6c:-: Interest in the life of Aboriginals. (Not a dream)
BIRTHING AND BABIES; BREASTS AND MILK
19:30c:0: Dream: I was in the kitchen making food for small children, babies. Probably there were three children. With me was one of my school friend, with whom I have contact nearly daily and also my ex-husband was with. Very unclear, not chaotic, but confusing, there were porridge, some mashed vegetables, baby bottles to be warmed. No logic.
19:30c:5: I got a baby. I did not see the birth, but anyhow it was a newborn baby. I gave it to my 71 years old friend and asked her to take care of this little child, as I was so busy with my work. I called her and asked, if she had mothers milk, so that she good breast-feed the little one and she answered "yes" and laughed shortly saying: You can start the motherhood also at this age. In reality she has no children, and is not married. I said to her, that I have mothers milk too, but that I could milk it and freeze it. So this way we can possibly prevent allergic reactions and I find it very nice to have some smooth forms. My breasts were really beautiful in that dream.
20:6c:: Dreams about babies.
24:6c:-: Being pregnant with feeling of heaviness and difficult breathing.
24:6c:-: Feelings of love, giving birth, can't connect, milk running from right breast. Lactating dog.
34:200c:3: Biking to a farm, searching for the right farm - to get there in time to Artificially Breed their cows. (This is her real job.) Finally found the place and their cow shed was very much part of their house - mixed together. It felt odd.
34:200c:6: I am having a baby. (Her daughter is actually due to have a baby.) I'm in class somehow as well trying to sit next to my mates at the front which is unusual because they're usually at the back. My nurse is preparing me - trying to poke a hole in the base of my neck - this is where my baby is coming out Because these days it costs you money to have pain - so when your due date or some date is up the baby is taken out of you. An injection is put in the base of my neck to make it numb and we prepare to get the baby out. I remember to ask what is the date? It's the 20th. (Actually is the 15th.) That's a pity - couldn't we wait till tomorrow the 21st as I like odd numbers. But no - today is the day.
34:200c:16: Dream: Trying to change a baby's nappy but it was upside down. Do I turn the nappy or turn the baby?
Woken by daughters contractions. [Her daughter began contractions for birthing this morning.] Born 1.58pm.
I was the first to dress him and I got the nappy upside down.
37:30c:2: Dream: I was sitting at a table in a café talking with my companions about people we know having babies. Behind the bar there was a woman who looked pregnant about 4-5 months. I asked her when she was due and she sat down and said she had an ovarian cyst and showed m e her tummy with this orange sized cyst sticking out. Next I was having an interview for a nursing job. Then I was walking this woman along the road to take her to theatre for her operation.
37:30c:19: Dream: That I had a baby. Was on a high bed in the middle of a room, I was lying down and I asked to see the baby. A male sat me up and passed me a huge baby wrapped like a Tuscan baby. When I asked to feed it this same man leant over my shoulder to undo my top. I think I feed the baby or the dream finished.
37:30c:31: Vague memory only - that I was teaching anatomy on fetal sexual development - was showing the class on myself.
JP1:(2 provers): Dream themes: Breasts, breast feeding. A young father makes a lot of fuss about the way his wife is breast feeding their child. While gesticulating he injures the breast of the dreamer, who is sitting near him.
SEX
19:30c:4: Dreams still confusing, full of activities connected with family-, work- and sexual matters.
27:30c:32: Sex-dream: I went somewhere to have sex with a man. I felt excited over this 'forbidden' adventure. We came into a room with a bench, looking as one of these benches where you make stomach exercises (in the gym). We didn't really know what and how to do on the bench.
34:200c:2: Many small dreams, sex in one.
34:200c:19: Lot of sexual dreams with females and males. A woman wanted me to share a room with her. A man wanted a threesome - all pretty mixed up.
TRAVEL, DIRECTION BUT NO DESTINATION
11:30c:3: Travelling somewhere when someone suggested to us to visit the local lagoon which was 4 ½ km long....
13:6c:1: Dream: We were in a car driving to I think Jamaica.
16:30c:12: I was somewhere and had to get home but the only way was by boat up a strange river...
19:30c:0: I was somewhere in the South, maybe in Sri Lanka...
37:30c:7: Was on a plane from Australia. We were very slow to get airborne and seemed to be on a road, but we missed the cars. We flew low following the road with big black clouds off to the left, then a plane landed in front of us and then my plane sort of landed like a helicopter would, on the road, by a sharp corner, the engines were still going and the pilot sort of jumped the plane around the corner. There was an unsealed road ahead - high cliffs on the right and some rocky area on the left and a drop to the sea - he stopped the plane - it had propellers and everyone got out - and milled around.
JP1:(10 provers) Transportation and being on the road, travelling. By car, elephant, bus, canoe, bicycle, jeep. There was no clear destination. Some provers were on their way to something sinister, ominous.
JP1:(7 provers) Shifting directions. He turned his direction from left to right, or forward becomes backward.
JP1:(4 provers) Travelling in England, one prover was in New Zealand, one in Canada. (New Zealand lies quite opposite Holland on the planet).
JP1:(2 provers) Crossing, a river.
JP1:(3 provers) Going to the East. To the countries behind the iron curtain and Russia.
Jp1:(4 provers) Left: Left sided symptoms, looking to the left, things passing by at the left side, turning to the left.
JP2:(prover 6): DREAM: I was travelling in the underground, making malicious remarks to others, laughing and mocking them.
CANCER
2:30c:1: Dream series:
1) My brother is dying of cancer but still tries to get an apartment fixed up and decorated that he wants to move into and live in for a while before his death.
2) I am trying to find out the meaning of a picture that has been in my family for a long time.
3) I am with a businessman who keeps ignoring me, his name is also Michael (like my brother), he seems big and somehow dark.
4) I am concerned about my brother; why all this effort, my place is finished, cant he spend some time there instead of having this place fixed up?
19:30c:14: Terrible dreams at night: In my right breast there was a bulge size of a ping-pong ball. My breasts were grown and turned into mushroom-like mass and when squeezed milk came out. I was terrified and said to my sister that I have a breast cancer. What shall i do if my breast will be removed, I am not so much a women as it is now. I was very unhappy.
NUCLEAR RADIATION
13:6c:1: Dream: We were in a car driving to I think Jamaica. There were a lot of black people (Negroid mix Jamaican's) in my dream. We stopped at a second hand store which was full of old kettles and their particular kind of burner underneath. The burner was not a gas burner but something I did not recognise and I gathered that it was the same sort of power that caused the standard light to illuminate. The guy who owned the place (he was Caucasian) also showed us some ancient form of lighting - a stand which illuminated at the top. There was also some story about how you could cause yourself to become illuminated by some particular method which I've forgotten. The method of illuminating ourselves had something to do with going to a particular place in the forest. We then went into a township where we sat at streel level waiting for someone and watching the locals. They were eating large bowls of colourful fruit cut into big chunks. They were on a higher level of the street than us and mostly hid behind colourful curtaining which hung at the front of all the balconies. On our level at the back of a room an old lady sat on a stool. Her body was as though she had a body suit on. From top to bottom she was a mottled brown - something like brown camouflage.
Analysis: The old woman - totally different to everything else - not colourful - quite and dull; on our level. All brown and mottled, as if burnt. The lady was a strange image - the thing that came to mind was that her jumpsuit or appearance was actually scarring and may have had something to do with the form of power (fuel) which was used for the kettles or light -used unwisely.
As the woman in the dream:' I'm estranged from everyone else because of my skin - had something to do with the illumination thing. That's all I can give.'
As the illuminating stand: 'like a standard lamp with a wire ring at the top that's illuminated. The light was different to any other - a bit like a fluoro or those insect zapping types. It is man made - foreign. As if it had been used 50 - 100 years ago and the people didn't use them anymore. More like rubbish than an antique.'
I thought the proving was of a radioactive substance like Plutonium - so I looked it up in the Encyclopedia and found it is used in a lamp like thing like in my dream.
17:200c:7: Dream: Jabiluka (A uranium mine site on Aboriginal land in Northern Australia) [See also under MENTALS RE-CONNECTION]
17:200c:12: Dream: People importing red earth from the centre (of Australia) to Byron Bay High School gardens - as it was more fertile for growing food.
Analysis: My son goes to Byron Bay High. They used to sand mine near there and there may be radio-active sand left there like at Jabiluka. [See also under MENTALS RE-CONNECTION]
37:30c:1: A misty hazy grey and white dream. Three people. One very tidy almost prim; me, and one very untidy, sloppy, smelly person walking together and not talking but all looking for a place to go when the nuclear explosion took place. They were looking in a calm way like researchers looking at books and papers - then alarm went.
JP1: (5 provers): Explosions, threats, dark clouds, (nuclear) war.
OTHER DREAMS
1:30:1: In prison, big room like a library - all the books old, hard covers - all the prisoners in pyjamas, lots of guards - not sure what I was in there for, was like a prison for hard core types but I was innocent. I got hold of a big lighter and can of fly spray and I used it to threaten the guards and to get them to open the doors and when I got outside and into the street I raced up to this car where there was a woman sitting in the traffic and pushed her to the passenger side and drove off. All these police cars following me and somewhere I doubled back past the prison and they didnt follow me. I dumped the car and the body - must have been near the prison and the prison must have overlooked a lake like Broadwater Lake (where our house is in southern NSW). I was walking along the edge of the lake which is in front of the prison - I had a friend with me who was helping me and also had a loony with me and had this bent and rusty metal didgeridoo (an aboriginal musical instrument) - must have been have been using it as a camouflage - we walked up through out block into the bush onto Ds land (like it was before we put our house on it) and I was going to camp there and hide there I said to my friend get rid of the loony. I was going to stay there until all the fuss had blown over. (Seemed to be in the most obvious place in front of the prison) The prison was where our house is.
4:30c:2: Dream series:
1} I am baking a pie in a communal house when it is finished and I bring it out, P and I are discussing cravings. P sais that both her mother and father crave mercury. Not only do they both need that remedy, but their cat and dog also need it.
2) I spilt some millet and tall Jeff (who has just woken up) comments on it. Then he is at the sink holding a spoon covered in tomato sauce saying that some people crave tomato sauce and pretends to lick the spoon. I pretend to be disgusted by this, agreeing with him.
11:30c:3: Travelling somewhere when someone suggested to us to visit the local lagoon which was 4 ½ km long. My partner and I took a boat along to the end of the lagoon where we got out and then jumped on two of those bouncy balls with handles. Started to jump our way down the road, when one of our jumps we shot up into the air in a huge leap of say 15 m. We thought we would fall badly and hurt ourselves but we didn't and continued along normally. A car passed us and pulled up - the passengers leapt out and it went up in flames. We said we'd get help from the nearby town. We reached the town and sent help. We then looked around the town out of interest. There were many Indian run stalls and I was particularly keen on finding an item of jewellery (an old silver pendant). Then from another street we went in to what seemed like a department store. On going in it became an enormous complex of large stores under one roof (dome) that were very modern and run by white people. Surprised. Then went down to the river in the town and noticed a cute arrangement of three bathtubs tiered down the side of the riverbank with water flowing from one to the next like a fountain.
13:6c:1: A very vivid colourful dream - one of the most colourful dreams I've ever had.
16:30c:4: All dreams seemed colourless.
16:30c:8: I was with some friends who needed some parts for their car so I said my brother looks after a car yard, we'll go and see him. When we got there my brother wasn't there but we still got in to the building (not illegally though). I can remember four black German shepherd dogs bailing me up on top of a car roof. Then there was all these people coming out of the woodwork. They were suspicious of us. There was a head man that was asking why we were there. They didn't believe us. The head man said 'if she kisses you, you will tell the truth'.
Analysis: The feeling was one of suspicion and lots of people working for a cause that was hidden, but a good cause.
19:30c:0: I was somewhere in the South, maybe in Sri Lanka and with me was one of my colleague from the Insurance company, where I worked few years ago and also his colleague. The most significant thing in this dream was a dog, a retriever or rotweiler or Doberman´s pinser or hybridization of these. In a way the dog was friendly, but I was tentative and hesitating, how to react towards it. Not really unpleasant. In the dream there was also Mr. K (dubious character in monetary business, a rich man) and about him it was said in the dream: 'He in any case gets married!' To that I answered with emphasis: 'Will he! I am not so sure about that at all !'
20:6c:1: I had a dream: Two ships belonging to rich people. I saw nobody inside the ships when walking through the ships. Suddenly I was diving at the Mediterranean with my mother who has been dead for 35 years already. I did not feel bad. Suddenly she disappeared and I was with my daughter gathering precious stones from the bottom of the sea. The water was very clear. A small dark coloured boy was adopted to the family.
22:12c:28: Dream: I think I should get married (has been married for twenty years with the same man). I could inherit something if you die.
27:30c:29: Dream: The supervisor wanted to tell me what remedy I had taken. I said that she cant tell me yet, in the middle of the proving but she said that she absolutely wants to tell me. She said it was one of the Lac's. I thought it must be Lac-humanum.
29:30c:2: Dream: of dead big black birds in my house - three of them. (When I was driving home there was a run over Puketo (a native New Zealand bird) on the side of the road - sadness at one being hit.)
Blackbirds chase each other on the ground n ext door - I watch them in the morning - maybe its mating - it looks like chasing. I've become aware of them very much in the past couple of weeks.
29:30c:3: Saw a 'Tui' (a NZ bird) - came and sat with me at breakfast - this reminded me of my dream.
29:30c:4: Saw a wood pigeon (vary rare) on the fence post looking at me. Really being visited by birds.
34:200c:1: Reading a children's book with pictures and came across a very pink bow tie, and thought immediately that the remedy was this pink bow tie.
34:200c:5: A lot of short dreams:
1) Saw people I know swimming to work. I threw something to them t o take to work.
2) 'C' a friend who is also proving this remedy - I just saw her, sat at a table with her and we talked, specifically about her youngest daughter 'F' - I saw 'F' and her husband walking off together hand in hand.
3) In class 'List'. I think I had to buy one of everything that was on the list - felt pressured. Then found out I only had to buy one thing and decided on a photo frame. Went home to measure it.
34:200c:7: Looking at and giving and getting confused about remedies: Colchicum, Spongia, Euphrasia.
Recently talked with friends about remedies.
34:200c:8: Many dreams; seem to be dreaming 50% of the time (night).
35:6c:21: I saw myself with long facial hair, about 3 cm long in some places - was soft and fine. I remember thinking that I hoped it would go away when I had finished the proving.
JP1: Dreams: hormonal diseases, de-pigmentation, falling of hair.
JP1:(5 provers): The numbers 7 and 9 together in a dreams scene.
Jp1:(3 provers): Dreams of: Old and new, renewal.
JP1:(4 provers): Dreams of: Old buildings.
GENERALS:
TEMPERATURE
19:30c:0: At the same time, when my skin is burning, my feet and hands, especially the right ones, feel cold. The coldness in the feet extends upward over the ankle halfway the leg. The shivering feeling is all over the body, although contrary to my normal situation, I am not directly freezing, but somehow I am cold, but not freezing. The sun is shining to my back, but still I have shivering. Only on backside, not in front part of my body.
19:30c:0: There is so strange feeling. The shivering continue, coldness is increasing from within. My arms are itching, the skin is burning and as if I am sweating at armpits at least. Hot feelings too, although shivering are cold. In the same way as after you have returned from a cross country ski-training and then calm down and start feel cold. The skin is drying. I cannot explain.
19:30c:0: There is cold sweat, I am not cold, but somehow I am cold and hot in turns - alternately. Maybe more cold, as if sweating, but in reality not sweating. Cold sweat, as if you are cold inside, the skin hot, tickling.
19:30c:0: After returning home I was so cold that I took a very hot shower, that somehow seemed to help.
19:30c:0: I did not do my breathing exercises, as I was so cold.
21:200c:1- 6: I noticed in the morning that I was more warm blooded than usual. no shivering in the shower room as usual.
22:12c:1: Extreme chilliness.
22:12c:20: Warm feeling. Red cheeks.
28:6c:0: Flushes of heat immediately after taking the remedy
29:30c:2: Tingling cold chill down right leg and right side of body on falling asleep.
34:200c:1: Had trouble keeping the right temperature in the warm kitchen.
35:6c:0: Body temperature warmer than usual in bed.
35:6c:13: Stood in the sun for 25 mts at 8.40am and felt hot and dizzy and aware of my heart.
37:30c:1: Sat on the bed in the sun - didn't get too hot - most unusual for me.
37:30c:8: Cold shivers from legs up, with headache.
37:30c:12: 11.15 am I'm cold and shivering; no one else is.
4.45 pm warm now.
JP1:(6 provers): Sensation of heat, glowing, with profuse perspiration.
FEEL GETTING SICK / FLU
21:200c:10: Feverish feeling "seems I'm getting sick".
21:200c:20:: Has had a fever. The fever was 37-38, with great exhaustion, that "took all the fluids". Shivering attacks sometimes. Sometimes the worse feeling was in the middle of the day, sometimes in the evening. Hoarseness of voice < morning on waking. Pain in the throat with redness. This flu lasted for a week. Sometimes headache.
24:6c:-: Sensation of flu.
27:30c:2: Starting to get a flu. It feels as if it is not really coming, getting started. RS
28:6c:40: Depression and flu after the death of grandmother.
31:200c:18: Woke 3am with deep chesty cough. Pain that tore my trachea out. Putrid mucous from deep in chest, bad taste, white expectoration. Painful to cough once mucous dislodged. Feel like I have a fever but temperature normal. Body hot to touch. Feel really sick. Want the proving to stop. Stiff and sore.
SORE ALL OVER
2:30c:1: Too k Arnica before yoga because was afraid I would be stiff and sore.
3:30c:-: Very sore and sensitive with massage.
5:30c:1-3: So full of aches and pains.
10:30:1: Spent day in bed - sore all over.
12:200c::5: Feeling stiff and sore; muscles are painful, esp areas of cramping.
2:30c:7: Achy all over all day, with restlessness
> lying on abdomen
19:30c:10: All my ligament were so tense, like I was made out of thin wires. Stretching feels very good and I was as flexible as usual.
31:200c:18: Stiffness and sprained buttock muscles much greater then usual after farm work.
Old injury - muscle deep in left buttock as if sprained; returned sore; < movement.
31:200c:20 Stiff and sore. Hard to get comfortable in bed. Soreness < around right hip.
37:30c:3: There are aching places in my body: back, shoulder, legs, always changing.
TIRED / WEAKNESS
12:200c::5: Very tired by 9.30pm.
17:200c:10: Tired washed out feeling with dry, sore throat.
17:200c:13: Tired in morning; feeling very delicate.
20:6c:4: Very tired , slept for 12 hours
21:200c:3: : Tiredness < 10 a.m., yawning. would like to go home to sleep. calm feeling.
21:200c:4: Tiredness, slept 11 hours, and during the day still 2 hours.
21:200c:6: Tired feeling, > outdoors, < indoors.
22:12c:0:after 6 hours: Weakness. Internal trembling. Hands trembling. Pulse weak and soft.
22:12c:8: Exhaustion, even the slightest mental or physical exertion seemed to cause extreme tiredness.
28:6c:4: Extremely tired at 2 pm precisely. Went over in half an hour.
28:6c:5: Very tired in the morning after a good sleep .
31:200c:17: Felt tired, lethargic, no energy, stiff muscles.
JP1:(2 provers): Weakness.
WEATHER
24:6c:-: Storms feel wonderful.
31:200c:19: Feel unwell. < cold wind.
SIDES
19:30c:3: This remedy is right side remedy. Somehow I have a need, a want to drag the right foot.
22:12c:4: Wandering pains of short duration mainly on the right side of the body.
29:30c:2: Tingling cold chill down right leg and right side of body on falling asleep.
PERSPIRATION / ODOUR
22:12c:7: Perspiration increased under the arms. More under the right arm. Pungent odour.
22:12c:14: Perspiration over the whole body from the slightest exercise.
24:6c:-: Odour awful, sweating. Desire to have salt-baths.
FOOD DESIRES, AVERSIONS AND AGGRAVATIONS
12:200c::1: Desire for orange juice.
12:200c::1: Thirsty for cold drinks.
12:200c::2: Thirsty for iced water.
12:200c::5: Desire for bacon.
19:30c:0: No desire for sweet, nor for salt.
19:30c:1: no desire for coffee, tea, salt, sweet.
19:30c:1: The food does not taste at all. No desires or if there is any, only for mild one, like porridge, very mild fresh cheese, white bread.
19:30c:7: Desire sweets. aversion to spicy food. greasy food aggravates digestion, oily taste in my mouth.
19:30c:9: I drank some wine, which didn't taste good.
21:200c:6:: after had been swimming, strong desire for metwurst with garlic. (salty, fatty sausage). (normally vegetarian diet).
22:12c:3: Taste very acute: sweet tasted too sweet, spicy too spicy, salt too salt, ice cream very creamy, dry white wine sweet. Would prefer the tasteless food.
22:12c:13: Craving for salt and spicy.
22:12c:13: Craving for black tea in large quantities.
22:12c:15: Intense craving for coffee (very unusual). Sensation of the smell of coffee
27:30c:13: Could not eat spicy food even if I normally like spices, especially chili a lot. << spicy food, chilli
29:30c:3: Craving coffee yesterday.
29:30c:2: Craving chocolate especially tonight.
30:-:2: Aversion to my usual coffee.
37:30c:6: Strong desire for Chocolate.
JP2:(prover 1): Today she has a strong desire for bitter things
OTHERS
11:30c:3: Jerk like I had leapt on going to sleep.
12:200c::7: Desire for open air which >.
19:30c:10: All day I felt bad. Blood pressure was first time: 91/65, pulse 61, second time: 101/71, pulse 65, third time: 103/72, pulse 63. Again I was nauseous and vomited in the evening. Only after that could I eat properly. Terrible day as a whole.
19:30c:-: As if radiated. - burning feeling - inside coldness.
19:30c:-: Nervous system like full of thin metal wires, like full of metallic blood vessels.
19:30c:-: Conscious of nerves, no pain.
27:30c:14: I have lost weight less than usual during the proving even if I have followed the program (Weight Watchers) as usual. I have had less appetite and haven´t had a desire for sweets. Before the proving I lost at least 1 kg/week, now I lost only 600-700 gr/week.
27:30c:22: I got a small wound on my hand a week ago. It has healed more slowly than usual. US
28:6c:4: Suddenly the sensation of being fat, swollen. The pants were not tight, anyway.
37:30c:0:90 minutes: Clumsy; dropping things - unable to judge distance.
37:30c:21 Internal trembling; anxiety on waking.
JP2:(prover 14): Desire to stretch, while feeling restless and uncomfortable.
HEAD:
12:200c::0: Head felt warm, but cold from neck downwards after taking remedy.
12:200c::1-4: In the shower my head was really sensitive to temperature when washing my hair.
Got a headache from the hot water; > from the cold shampoo.
12:200c::4-5: Headache with aversion to thinking; pain comes in waves and shifts around in the head. Head feels sensitive to change of temperature.
15:6c:1: Slight heavy feeling in head on waking, till rising.
15:6c:1-5: No dry scalp or dandruff this week CS.
17:200c:11: Slight headache, gripping over forehead at start of menses.
17:200c:14: Headache gripping about the temples.
17:200c:14: Head and neck ache have joined - head fuzzy and neck tight; feel awful.
19:30c:2: At three oclock in the afternoon I got headache, which started from the right side of my neck and extended upward and stopped underneath the occiput. When I bend my head, I feel the pain also in my forehead on the right side. It is like a strained wire between my neck and occiput. Strange, not really pulsating pain, just pain. The time is 06.15 p.m. and the ache still continues. Now it has moved more to the occiput and stays there.
19:30c:3: My first feeling in the morning was that the headache is now "fallen down" into the kidneys and extended further to sciatic nerve. The area around the kidneys in my back - right above the waist is very sore.
19:30c:5: Yesterday evening when I went to bed I noticed that again I had the headache, I tried to sleep, but the aching in my neck on the right side was so painful that I had no opportunities to sleep. Strange pain, aching.
19:30c:12: After nausea I still have WIRELIKE feeling in my shoulders, from where headache rise up to back of my head. Lower back aches below and around waist. I was so cold I had to go to hot shower for 20 minutes and drink hot tea to warm up. This eased up the wirelike feeling and headache.
19:30c:-: Headache right side, rising from nape of the neck to back of the head. "Wire" from back of head to forehead. Headache just stays there for hours, no pulsating, better lying down. Pain radiates to shoulders, nerve paths like wires.
21:200c:1: sensation of hotness in forehead > hands above the eyes, darkness.
21:200c:5: headache < 8 - 9 pm < whole head, lasted for an hour.
22:12c:1: Head pain in temples. Head pain aching, right side.
24:6c:-: Headaches with dizziness < mornings.
24:6c:-: Feeling as if not here, banging head frequently = bruises.
28:6c:-: Slight headache waking in the morning. Lasting two three hours.
29:30c:1: Pain in left temple lasting 30 seconds like a stabbing pain.
29:30c:1: Shooting pain from left side of occiput through to left temple 3.20 pm and 4.30 pm OS from 5 years ago. < turning head suddenly.
29:30c:2: Woke 6.15am with throbbing pain in left temple.
30:6c:1: Tight band at base of skull while walking on beach at 7.30am; extending down left deltoid muscle.
A few minutes later a sensation of very hot fingertip pointing into muscle.
35:6c:0: Dull ache in top of head, moving from front to back.
35:6c:6: Hair looks and feels oily.
37:30c:0:7 hours: Five hot flushes, mainly in the head.
37:30c:2: Slight headache behind both eyes coming and going all afternoon.
37:30c:3: Head feels empty, as if there is a space in it.
37:30c:4: Slight headache in temples.
37:30c:7: Headache left side worse in temples - 1 pm.
Increased slowly, till sleep at 9.45 pm and woke 4 am with it.
> after sweet cake; fresh air;
< in bus; noise; light; moving; reading
Bad headache throbbing over right eyebrow 4.20 pm.
Headache is spreading to eyes and side of head - throbbing and stabbing pain.
With nausea and coldness. OS (of 2-3 years ago)
Was angry at having to work when not rostered on that day - feel that I have been treated unfairly.
37:30c:8: Woke with headache on right side; eyes, cheek forehead - extends to back of head.
37:30c:31: Hot flushes with sweating in head mainly on hair line. OS but much more that I've had for many years.
37:30c:50: Wavy lines in middle of vision; aura for my migraines always starts like this but then goes to the peripheral of both eyes, not today. Headache dull aching, right side behind eyes. OS from 3 years ago.
JP2:(prover 5): Pressing pain in her head and on her sternum, better from hard pressure.
VERTIGO:
22:12c:1: Sensation as if falling to the right when standing.
24:6c:: Dizziness, sensation that somebody is pushing you at the head, feeling like being inside something.
27:30c:9: Vertigo after I had blown my nose.
27:30c:13: Vertigo while driving the car. At 23.00 I came home, got out of the car and I almost fell to the ground. As if drunk. I could not walk straight, when walking up the stairs I fell towards the left wall all the time. I could not walk and not lie down in bed. Felt as if falling out of the bed.
27:30c:24: I got very dizzy when walking in circle during baby-swimming with my son. Vertigo and nausea from walking in circle and playing with my child. Lasted for two hours.
27:30c:24: Many times during walking I have an insecure feeling in my legs. I get dizzy.
37:30c:8: Dizzy from standing or walking for longer than 5 mts.
37:30c:13: Vertigo while sitting.
EYES AND VISION:
13:6c:1: On lying on my pillow and closing my eyes I could see 'flourescent' lights or 'iridescent' blue patterns.
18:200c:1: Pressure sensation in Left eye.
19:30c:2: I feel that my eyes are bleary.
22:12c:29: Soreness and swelling in the inner corner of the right upper (eye) lid.
24:6c:-: Sensation of acid, itching.
Sensation of looking through a hole.
24:6c:-: The text becomes 3-dimensional. Dark balls here and there.
27:30c:21: The right eyelid is very painful and sore. It feels as if there is no skin but it looks normal from the outside. Feels as if somebody had put salt on it. < touch, smarting on touch, > cold water
35:6c:0: As if a pressure in right eye; desire to touch eye lid to check that nothing is obstructing it.
35:6c:7: Whites of eyes very white. When tired my eyes become bloodshot.
35:6c:13: Eyes very sensitive to sunlight. US
37:30c:7: Watery left eye.
JP2:(prover 14): Stinging pain in the left eye.
EARS:
17:200c:8: Shooting pain under left ear through night as if infection coming on; causing waking from sleep.
21:200c:23: Ears itchy. wants to scratch them. > putting fingers into the ear. hearing not so well.
27:30c:9: "Pricking" sensation in left ear.
28:6c:1: Moisture and itching in the right ear. Scratched it until bleeding.
28:6c:1: The left ear started itching 20 minutes after itching in the right ear.
28:6c:4: Terrible stitch as if stabbed with a knife under the nib of the left ear lasting 2 - 3 seconds at a time.
31:200c:20: Whistling in both ears.
34:200c:6: Ears blocked briefly several times while in a shop and driving. As if going up and down when flying.
> swallowing.
35:6c:1: Left ear lobe hot and pulsing; along with my lips and front teeth.
JP1:(1 prover) Increased ear wax.
HEARING:
27:30c:5: Hearing was < after exercise, ears were blocked.
37:30c:4: I'm not hearing as clearly - have to ask others to repeat themselves.
NOSE:
11:30c:8: Bloody coryza on blowing nose during first and second day of menses.
20:6c:0: After taking the pill I felt at once a smell like dishes smelling too strong.
21:200c:1: Sensation as if there is something in the nose. Today the nose is stuffed, no discharge.
21:200c:1: Bad odour comes from the nose if wipes the nose. This symptom has been for about 2 weeks. RS
Day 6: The smell in nose disappeared, now stuffed. no discharge. CS
21:200c:6:: Sensitive to the smell of coffee (stopped drinking his usual coffee for the proving)
24:6c:-: Stopped left, bleeding left.
24:6c:-: Discharge, white and slimy.
24:6c:-: Smell of old disgusting things.
24:6c:-: By putting head down an acidic sensation.
27:30c:3: Still flu, sneezing, obstructed nose
27:30c:5: My nose is so swollen that it is impossible to breath through it.
Feeling of pressure in nose. It is also hard to swallow because of this.
I didn't know what to do in the evening and during the night because of the obstruction and the pressing pain.
Nose was better after I went to my gymnastic exercise.
27:30c:11: Lots of coryza. When I´m blowing my nose it feels as if the discharge doesn't come enough.
Coryza > outside.
27:30c:28: A raw feeling in the throat and nose.
27:30c:31: The nose is running. Viscid discharge.
28:6c:1: Moisture and itching in the right ear. Scratched it until bleeding. At the same time the right nostril obstructed with clear discharge. Appeared and disappeared.
29:30c:1: Nose started running on rising - thick clear like eggwhite.
Sneezed a bit; no itching or irritation.
29:30c:7: Nose on like a tap all day; sneezing.
35:6c:0: Pressure on bridge of nose at root.
37:30c:0: As if someone pressing on left nostril.
JP2:(prover 6): Discharge watery from nose and mucus in the throat 10 minutes after taking the remedy. Lasted 5 minutes.
JP2:(prover 13): Epistaxis shortly after taking the remedy.
JP2:(prover 14): Oversensitive to smells.
FACE:
15:6c:1-2: Sore or cracks at inside corners of mouth
< afternoon and evening. > morning.
19:30c:2: My face is slightly swollen - cheeks just under the eyes.
27:30c:9: Herpes on upper lip. RS
29:30c:15: Lots of pimples on right side of face.
29:30c:15: Eruption on left side of lower lip - not a pimple - tender to touch.
35:6c:0:10 minutes: Bone under left eye, top of cheek bone felt swollen. As if I could not open my eye.
Ten minutes later same felling on right side - not as strong.
35:6c:0: Tingling in area of bottom lip and just below it.
35:6c:0: Cramp in left lower jaw hinge - moved to right side and back again; > rubbing.
35:6c:1: Cheeks feel hot esp right cheek.
35:6c:2: Pressure under right eye extending down to cheek bone.
35:6c:4: Cheeks feel hot half hour after eating; look normal.
37:30c:3: Face hot at times - no sweat.
37:30c:9: Severe pain in lower right jaw on lying down. > sitting up. Feels like nerve pain.
Dentist found an abscess with nerve still alive.
Shaky and shocked after, with throbbing pain and sensitive to cold.
37:30c:53: Over last month: small bumps under skin anywhere on face. I would expect a pimple to develop but they disappear within 24 hrs.
MOUTH AND TONGUE:
11:30c:1: Tongue burnt feeling, prickly sensation on tip; slight cracks right side but reddish both sides; papillae slightly raised.
12:200c::7: Mouth and tongue and lips dry but no great thirst.
13:6c:4: Three little ulcers at the back of my mouth right side, which lasted about half hour and went away; during menses.
19:30c:7: Oily taste in my mouth.
24:6c:-: Ulcers in mouth.
27:30c:0:9 hours: Aphthae in mouth at 15.00 o´clock. RS
27:30c:4: Itching of the (soft) palate in the morning. Lasted for two hours.
27:30c:10: Strange lump in the palate, one centimetre from the front teeth. It is not aphthae. It tickles. It hurts when touching it.
27:30c:11: The skin from the inside of my gums was falling off at 23.00 o`clock. It started from the right side and then to the left side. It was terribly sore. It felt as if it was something from the stomach that was burning, causing it.
27:30c:17: Aphthae in mouth for the second time during the proving. RS
27:30c:23: Aphthae in mouth for the third time during the proving. Upper lip, right side. RS
27:30c:29: Herpes on lip for the third time during the proving. RS
29:30c:5: My tongue was indented on the left side. 8.50am.
30:-:2: Bad breath in morning with a stale taste.
34:0: Lips dryer.
35:6c:1: Left ear lobe hot and pulsing; along with my lips and front teeth.
35:6c:7: Lips feel hot, swollen and tingling, esp lower lip, which also feels like it might burst and bleed.
< touch.; after eating orange.
35:6c:21: Ulcer on the right tip of tongue.
37:30c:0 Tingling feeling on tip of tongue.
37:30c:24: Sensation as if ulcer under tongue < oranges; hot drinks, salt, and > cold drinks.
JP2:(prover 2): Metallic taste.
TEETH:
21:200c:23:: pain in teeth, > biting teeth together.
35:6c:4: Teeth sensitive eating raw carrot.
37:30c:0:11 hours: Throbbing right lower molar plus dull pain when biting on tooth.
37:30c:2: Teeth sensitive to cold water.
37:30c:9: Severe pain in lower right jaw on lying down. > sitting up. Feels like nerve pain.
Dentist found an abscess with nerve still alive.
Shaky and shocked after, with throbbing pain and sensitive to cold.
37:30c:17: Tooth pain < hot drinks; sweet things; cold windy air.
Pain all morning - nerve pain - extending to middle teeth on right side.
THROAT:
12:200c::1,5: Woke up with a bit of a gravelly sore throat and achy, cramping pains in the lower back.
> after having a shower.
13:6c:2-5: Glands under jaw line to right of chin swollen and sore; during menses.
13:6c:4: Slight discomfort radiating to my right ear.
16:30c:3: Dry itchy tickle in throat causing waking at 3am and cough.
17:200c:3-13: Woke with a sore, dry throat
< in morning; talking
> drinking; warm drinks
17:200c:11: Sore throat at sunset at start of menses.
17:200c:12,13,17: Burning throat, much < sunset; when outside; cold air on chest.
17:200c:1: Sore throat has gone to chest; coughing up whitish sputum.
17:200c:7-12: Have to keep clearing throat to speak.
17:200c:7-12: Dryness in larynx.
22:12c:7: When lying in bed as if throat swollen. Had to bend backwards to straighten the trachea.
24:6c:-: Sore, more right side.
24:6c:-: Sensation of cool and fresh wind, like menthol.
24:6c:-: Painful swallowing.
27:30c:19: Pain in pharynx at night. The pain was in one spot, on the right side.
Strong pain. It passed before the morning. < swallowing
27:30c:28: A raw feeling in the throat and nose. Right side of the throat feels irritated and makes me cough.
37:30c:0:10 hours: Sharp pain in throat, left side.
JP2:(prover 11): Contractions of the throat, extending to the chest.
VOICE
17:200c:7-12: Voice croaky in morning.
22:12c:37: Hoarseness of voice and cough when talking.
24:6c:-: Itching rough, loss of voice. Hoarseness.
28:6c:2: Lost voice for a moment.
STOMACH:
APPETITE AND THIRST
12:200c::0: Thirst after taking remedy.
12:200c::1: Ravenous hunger 10am.
12:200c::7: Thirst for sips, with dry mouth.
19:30c:2: Eating is disgusting as well as drinking anything. Nausea, as if I have to go and vomit. Nausea immediately after eating. Uneasy feeling. Everything tastes salty. Feeling of fullness. I cannot stand this feeling. I hate it.
19:30c:2: Feeling that nothing is digesting. No hunger, no thirst. I think that this remedy is either a slimming remedy or an energetic substance by its nature.
19:30c:0: No appetite
19:30c:0: No thirst
19:30c:0: No appetite at all. Total lack of appetite. Nothing tastes. There is no taste, no desire. Only feeling of fullness.
21:200c:23: Has been thirsty, for cold water, large quantities.
22:12c:1: Not hungry. Unusually thirsty. Food tasted very spicy.
24:6c:-: Appetite increased.
27:30c:6: Less hungry than normal. Usually I am hungry even if I am sick.( I have been following the weight-watcher program for 5 weeks). US
27:30c:7: I have even less appetite than yesterday.
37:30c:11: Thirsty for cold drinks.
NAUSEA AND VOMITING
12:200c:7: Woke in night, cold, with nausea and cramp in abdomen
- abdomen is very sensitive to touch; causes nausea.
> rubbing
- avers any cloths on lower abdomen.
12:200c:7: Nausea from smell of flowers or anything
woke at 2.30am extremely nauseous after eating prawns
< thought of food
> lying on back. > Ars 30c one dose.
12:200c:7: Violent vomiting, cant keep anything down; after eating prawns the afternoon before.
- vomits half hour after any drinking or eating.
- vomits green or yellow fluid.
- vomited on waking
- deep sleep after vomiting
> Arsenicum album 30c one dose.
19:30c:3: Nausea after eating - immediate reaction.
19:30c:10: Nausea before I went to bed, although I drank only little.
19:30c:-: Eating and drinking causes nausea, vomiting. Worst right after eating or drinking anything.
22:12c:0: after 4 hours: Felt slightly nausea, palpitations.
24:6c:-: Nausea; vomiting jelly. Feeling being poisoned. Vomiting every time something touches stomach, feelings or fluid.
37:30c:13: Nauseated when sitting.
OTHER
12:200c::0: Minor heartburn after taking remedy.
20:6c:1: Heartburn, I thought it was because I ate a lot of carrots.
20:6c:2: Like a pressure in esophagus, heartburn
22:12c:0:after 7 hours: After eating, bubbling and soreness in the stomach, eructations.
22:12c:0:after 18 hours: Soreness in the stomach, < pressure.
22:12c:1: Satiety and eructations after eating very little.
29:30c:3: Hiccoughs before I ate in morning., and at 6.40pm.
34:200c:0: Heartburn feeling in chest.
Rumbling stomach as if hungry but don't feel like eating.
34:200c:2: Heartburn behind sternum with hungry feeling.
> eating 12 midday; < hot drinks.
34:200c:4 - 7: Aching chest through to back, with heartburn in the middle.
> eating; a small amount, often; < one hour later.
> hot drinks; cold drinks, ice cream
< smoking.
35:6c:13: Anxiety in stomach.
ABDOMEN:
12:200c::7: Rumblings in intestines but no diarrhoea - woke 3am with desire for stool- on dry side.
19:30c:-: "oily feeling" in abdomen.
21:200c:1:: Pain in abdomen, bloated, feeling of tightness. Had to open the belt from the trousers. Burning pain in the abdomen, < whole abdominal area. sensation of air in abdomen. > lying on the abdomen for ½ hours, then it eased out. "I thought: if I went to vomit, it would have been easier. Strong nausea.
21:200c:23: Sometimes has had bloated feeling in the stomach again. < bending.
22:12c:1: Distention in stomach (sic) - had to loosen the belt. Lots of eructations.
27:30c:12: During the night my abdomen was aching as during the menses. I had neither menses nor ovulation at that time. The pain felt as slightly burning. Not very strong, it passed. US
28:6c:5: Distention and pain in lower abdomen - like it used to be before menses.
29:30c:2: Stabbing pain in pelvic region at top of pubic hair, extending to right side.
< stretching; walking. > pulling knees up.
29:30c:5: Stabbing pain in right iliac fossa, after eating. Came on suddenly 2.05pm, 8.55pm and 9.05pm.
< walking.; on standing up; > sitting.
34:200c:6: Pinching pain in lower right abdomen, like cramp on and off, 7pm.
37:30c:13: Felt dizzy and vacant as though it wasn't me. Looked very pale. Wanted to put my head down. Then went hot and face flushed. Went outside and felt >. Then needed to lie down. Was told I look green - felt dizzy, vacant and unwell. Was very calm in car on the way home 3.30 pm - gripping pain in mid abdomen - intermittent; > knees drawn up. Pain continued on and off till a small bowel motion at 4.30 pm.
JP1:(1 prover): Tearing pain in left abdominal wall.
JP1:(1 prover): Abdominal cramps.
JP2:(prover 12): Stabbing sensation in her right hypochondria, extending upward.
RECTUM:
11:30c:7: Half an hour after dinner (8 pm) sudden rush to toilet to pass runny, foul smelling motion.
11:30c:8: Stools hard and few, almost constipated at start of menses.
12:200c::7: Rumblings in intestines but no diarrhoea - woke 3am with desire for stool - on dry side.
15:6c:1: Sore or cracks at anal opening
< afternoon. > morning.
Cutting, splitting sensation; raw.
16:30c:15: Heavy, stagnant feeling in abdomen for about one hour.
24:6c:-: Constipation.
29:30c:11-12: Frequent bowel motions.
Lots of wind all day especially at 4 -5 pm.
35:6c:5:Urgent stool.
JP1:(1 prover): Diarrhoea after coffee.
STOOL:
24:6c:-: Smelling, dark jelly.
34:200c:1 & 6: Small pebbly stool on rising in morning.
35:6c:5: Honey coloured urgent stool.
35:6c:11: Sticky stool.
BLADDER:
12:200c::60+: During menses: Frequent urination; three times /hour. As if full bladder at night. No pain.
24:6c:-: Urination increased during evening.
35:6c:2: Frequent desire to urinate in evening 6.30 - 10pm.
35:6c:3: Desire to urinate after first sip of a drink.
JP1:(1 prover): Burning in urethra during urination, as if the urine cannot pass.
URINE:
12:200c::6-7: Urine had a greenish colour.
12:200c::8: Urine had a slight brown colour.
19:30c:1: The morning amount of urine less than normally. No need to urinate, when I woke, as usual.
19:30c:3: My secretion (urine) is "nonexistent", disappeared, although I drunk water involuntarily before I went to bed.
21:200c:1:: sweetish smell in urine, reddish-yellow.
35:6c:15: Urine is dark yellow in morning, clear in afternoon.
MALE GENITALIA/SEX:
SEXUAL DESIRE
21:200c:1: no sexual desire. "I just said no thanks, very nicely, we didn't have any argument about it, even though we had not had sex for 2 weeks before that."
21:200c:23: "last night we had a wild evening with my girlfriend."
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX:
SEXUAL DESIRE
12:200c::4: Had an orgasm which is quite unusual for me. My senses and feelings during the whole sexual experience were quite acute. I found it easy to get aroused (unusual) even though I had been quite low and emotional recently.
12:200c::6: Sex drive greatly increased - almost to the point of desperately needing sex. Almost as if ravenous for sex.
22:12c:4: Sexual desire absent for a couple of days.
22:12c:20: Strong sexual desire.
24:6c:-: Irritation, sexual desire increased.
27:30c:0:4 hours: Strong sexual desire at 10.00am. When my husband came home on his lunch-hour we made love. This is not common for me to do.
27:30c:11: My sex life has become much more active during the proving. Usually I have sex every second week but after I got a child one year ago my sexual desire went down. There could sometimes pass a month before I had intercourse. Now since I took the remedy I have had sex with my husband every second day. CS
MENSES
2:30c:-: Menses lighter by a third.
3:30c:-: Menses lighter, shorter, darker
- no pain
- come on slowly
- felt exhausted
- no flow at night
- flowed only on standing
- after 28d for first time in ages [CS]
12:200c::83: Menses 2 days late even though on the pill.
12:200c::60+: Menses end with brown blood.
13:6c:1: No heaviness or cramping on day one of menses CS
13:6c:2: Menses started off brown.
27:30c:18: The menses has been thinner than usual. The colour is brighter than usual. US
34:200c:15: Still spotting all day at end of period. It would have usually stopped by now, day 5.
35:6c:11: Sensation as if menses had began at night in bed over last few nights. I felt a discharge while lying in bed and had to get up to check. It hadn't.
35:6c:11: Flooding menses at 4 am; must get out of bed.
35:6c:45: Menses very heavy and membranous.
OTHER
12:200c:4: After sex - my vaginal discharge smelt rotten, kind of like garbage.
12:200c:60+: Profuse vaginal discharge before menses - I felt fine.
27:30c:6+: Leucorrhoea more than normally. The colour: transparent. Slippery.
This lasted during the whole proving. US
35:6c:2: Shooting pain in vagina going upwards; short and sharp.
37:30c:3: Feeling as though there is a pressure on my vulva - as though something well fall out. OS from 13 years ago.
37:30c:22: I feel as though I have been living through the hysterectomy I had 12 years ago. Had never felt well since that hysterectomy; now feel recovered. Only other remedy to > was Lachesis.
- I had feelings of being pressured and doing things because others wanted me to. This is how I felt after the surgery. I didn't sleep and was agitated and depressed for months after taking three months to physically recover from the surgery.
- Feeling hot again - all cold feelings gone.
- Happy and peaceful - haven't felt like this for years.
- Good energy.
- Concentration improved.
- Seem to be able to tolerate milk better.
37:30c:28: Discharge green on and off for a week; vaginal but maybe urethral?
RESPIRATION:
22:12c:0: after 6 hours: Had to force breathing when walking. Sensation as if the trachea was heavy.
24:6c:-: some nights feeling of suffocating.
31:200c:21: Rattly on inspiration and expiration. As if mucous in trachea.
COUGH AND EXPECTORATION:
22:12c:13: Dry cough between pharynx and larynx.
24:6c:-: Cough, irritable deep. Difficult getting up slime. slime like gelly, disturbing sleep, sensation of suffocating.
Dry and exhausting.
27:30c:29: Coughing up slimy discharge.
31:200c:16: Cough on waking, from tickling in throat. Tasteless white expectoration.
< cold wind..
31:200c:18: Woke 3am with deep chesty cough. Pain that tore my trachea out. Putrid mucous from deep in chest, bad taste, white expectoration. Painful to cough once mucous dislodged.
34:200c:7: Dry cough as if I have crumb in the throat, at 8.50am. Worried it could be from a cigarette at 7am.
35:6c:0: Cough came on about 9pm; barking, tickling, as if wool sitting in middle of throat. Gone by 9.30pm.
CHEST:
12:200c:5: Cramps in upper body - chest and arms, with a painful pulling sensation.
22:12c:13: Intense palpitation.
24:6c:-: Like somebody has scratched it raw inside, with palpitations.
27:30c:1: Heart palpitation while sitting at 15.00 o´clock. It passed quickly.
27:30c:16: Lungs and bronchial area feels painful. Coughing is painful. I´m coughing up slimy, hard lumps. US
29:30c:5:8am: Shooting pain right side of chest - quick pain. As soon as I acknowledge them they go.
31:200c:21: Pain in lower lungs on coughing.
35:6c:0: As if a body of water is inside and underneath right breast; moving around like heavy liquid.
35:6c:9: Itching like wool on skin would, mostly around neck seam area.
37:30c:22: While sitting with feet up got sudden sharp stitching pains in chest under breasts.
Intense pain radiated from fight to left, and extended to right jaw. Had to breath more shallowly.
On lying mouth filled with saliva, needed to swallow more frequently. Felt nauseated; retched 4 times.
Pain > standing; after retching. Not > sitting or lying.
37:30c:71: Large red pimple on scar line on right breast; no head. Itchy
JP2:(prover 5): Pressing pain in her head and on her sternum, better from hard pressure.
NECK:
35:6c:7: Woke 4 am with sore neck; right side, extending down my back and right arm into the hand.
> pressure; rubbing; warm water; stretching. Stiffness lasted all morning.
35:6c:20: Back of neck very sore and stiff; with anxiety. > hard rubbing.
BACK:
5 & 7:30c:1: Stabbing pain under R scapula < breathing in. I only want to breath out.
12:200c:c::0: Achy cramping pain in lower back after taking remedy.
12:200c:c::1: Lower back pain; got worse during the day
< standing; sitting; jar; fast movement
> lying; after sex.
12:200c:c::2: Woke with back pain like Ive thrown my back out
< lifting.
12:200c:c::3: Back pain had returned and had been present on and off during the evening, corresponding with the times I had been emotional .
12:200c:c::7: Pain in lumbar back
< anger, emotions, upset, happy
12:200c:c::8: Lower back feels bruised, painful to touch along spine, below the kidneys.
17:200c:12: Pain in left back, up near neck, in small spot; sharp jabbing pain .
19:30c:1: The first feeling in the morning - pain in the lower part of my back. I wondered, had I possibly slept in a wrong position or sat too much yesterday, or was this a symptom about kidneys.
19:30c:-: lower back pain, spreads like wires through nerves.
19:30c:12: After nausea I still have WIRELIKE feeling in my shoulders, from where headache rise up to back of my head. Lower back aches below and around waist. I was so cold I had to go to hot shower for 20 minutes and drink hot tea to warm up. This eased up the wirelike feeling and headache.
24:6c:-: Stitching pain in upper back.
24:6c:-: Muscles, sore and hurting.
27:30c:16: My menses started. Instead of the usual abdominal pain there is pain in the small of the back. Pain in sacrum.
27:30c:17: Pain in sacrum is terrible, very strong. < sitting, > walking slowly, > warmth against the back. When I walk a few steps there can be sudden tearing pain in the back (during menses).
27:30c:18 Pain in sacrum is still strong. Makes it difficult to sit still.
28:6c:4: Cramp in the neck, left side, from above the ear to the shoulder.
29:30c:2: Stabbing pain 7.20pm in right side of central thoracic spine region.
29:30c:2: Stabbing pain 7.55pm in left side of central thoracic spine region.
29:30c:7: Stabbing pain in left clavicle - lasting two minutes.
31:200c:20: Pain in lower back on coughing; > bringing knees up.
31:200c::-:2: Aching back, shoulders to waist in late afternoon.
34:200c:5: Dull pain between shoulders 4.30pm.
37:30c:19-34: Left sacro-iliac joint aching; < crossing legs. OS from childbirth many years ago.
JP1:(4 provers): Pains in lower part of the back.
EXTREMITIES UPPER:
12:200c:5: Cramps in upper body - chest and arms, with a painful pulling sensation.
Cramps in arms < night.
19:30c:0: When I walk from the bus station to my work, usually my 2. and 3. fingers of my right hand are white and numb. Today only the second finger of my left hand was numb and white.
22:12c:6: Aching in left hand fingers and left arm. Appeared suddenly, disappeared and came again.
28:6c:0:19 hours: Fingers and feet swollen in the morning.
30:-:2: Shooting pain inside wrist shooting towards hand; right side.
30:-:2: Cramp in right deltoid at 5 pm.
30:-:5: Pain in inside right wrist; as if strained.
< extension of hand; bending hand back at wrist.
35:6c:0: Sharp pain in right middle (2nd) finger (top knuckle). On applying pressure the pain went deeper into finger under the bone. < cold air.
35:6c:2: Cramp in right palm > rubbing.
35:6c:3: Discomfort in right palm (diagonally from index finger) on closing; > stretching.
35:6c:3: Small raised, white bump on right middle finger. Itchy > cold water.
35:6c:7: Index finger of right hand has more of a bump on it; bone feels twisted.
35:6c:13: Around fingernails bits of skin are hanging/flicking up.
37:30c:3: My hands are aching stiff. Shaking >. OS drug symptom from 29 years ago.
JP2:(prover 1): There is a strong pain in the palm of hand, as if a knife is under the skin.
EXTREMITIES LOWER:
15:6c:1: Athletes foot - more severe bout than usual -itching and sore.
16:30c:1: Pain in left knee woke me between 3-5am with a very sore stiff feeling .
16:30c:1: Pain in left medial knee area on waking in morning .
17:200c:10: Pain in right hip when going to sleep.
19:30c:-: Sciatic nerve pain, right side.
22:12c:0:after 10 hours: Legs swollen.
22:12c:1: Swelling in legs extending to ankles.
22:12c:7: Intensive dull pain in the right thigh.
24:6c:-: Stitching pain calves now and then.
24:6c:-:Right sole numb, soles burning and spongy feeling.
24:6c:-: Rawness between toes.
27:30c:18: In the morning my legs were aching. Like growing pains. > rising and moving around a bit
27:30c:19: Pain in the leg during the night, extending to thigh. Felt as if growing pains
28:6c:0:19 hours: Fingers and feet swollen in the morning. Could not put shoes on.
28:6c:30: Burning feet at night. Had to put them into cold water.
29:30c:1: Got hot feet; usually they are very cold.
30:-:2: Cramp in left calf at 6 pm.
30:-:12: Cramp in right thigh; < sitting.
When I get up after sitting feel as if leg will buckle under me; > moving.
35:6c:0: Knees make a 'crunching' noise when I run, walk quickly and walking up stairs. No pain.
35:6c:0: Cramp like pain in left inside thigh after walking; < extending leg; putting weight on it.
35:6c:0: Cramp in centre of sole of left foot on getting into bed. > heat; stretching; rubbing.
35:6c:5: Knees feel wobbly on walking home, down a steep path; as if they might give way.
35:6c:9: Sticking pain under right kneecap; < movement.
35:6c:14: A tendon in left foot by ankle felt pulled while walking.
Right knee also felt strange walking.
35:6c:16: In supermarket (warm) my kneecaps became hot and red.
35:6c:21: Pain in end of right big toe, as if a pin were pushed in and out.
35:6c:-: My feet were not sore as normal during the proving. My feet become uncomfortable from wearing shoes with different size heels. CS
37:30c:0: Immediately both feet tingling.
37:30c:17: My feet which swell most days after work have not been swollen for a week. CS.
37:30c:27 & 43: Stabbing pain in top of left foot on walking.
JP1:(1 prover): Cramps in the left calf, extending into the thigh.
SLEEP:
5:30c:-: Sleepless till 3 am from aches and pains.
11:30c:2: Seemed to have slept OK but woke feeling like I hadn't.
11:30c:4: Slept long and solid.
12:200c:3-6: Very deep sleep; its like I close my eyes, open them again and its morning.
16:30c:1: Sleep deeper - didn't hear things I normally do.
19:30c:0: I woke up totally exceptionally at 5 oclock in the morning. I could not sleep any more.
19:30c:2: The sleep was broken several times. During the two other nights before this I had woken up about at 5 oclock in the morning. Now I woke up at 00.30, at 3.00 and 5.15 in the morning. I have gone to bed in every evening about eleven thirty.
19:30c:2: Waking up in the morning is very difficult.
19:30c:5: Yesterday evening when I went to bed I noticed that again I had the headache, I tried to sleep, but the aching in my neck on the right side was so painful that I had no opportunities to sleep. Strange pain, aching. I curled under my cover. It did not help, I moved to lay on my back. It did not help either. The sleep did not come. I do not know, when I finally have falling into sleep, but the sleep was broken. I looked at the time at 4.30 and when the alarm clock started to ring at 6.00, I let it ring and ring, as then I would have liked to sleep and sleep.
19:30c:5: still waking up 2.00-3.00 AM. I feel I have to go to toilet, but this is not reality (increased urging).
19:30c:5: unusual sleeping position: on my side.
24:6c:-: Tired, very deep long (sleep), easy falling asleep.
29:30c:6: Sleeping on left side only US.
29:30c:6: Woke suddenly at 1am anxious about something. Next morning couldn't remember what.
31:200c:21: Woke 2 am and sleepless after. Couldn't get comfortable; tossing and turning.
35:6c:2: As if dead asleep; noise doesn't wake me.
JP2:(prover 7): Restlessness, desire to change position in bed.
Had to support her head with her hands while falling asleep.
FEVER AND CHILL:
12:200c:c::7: Temperature up and down
- get hot then cold then warm
- feet cold but looking for cool spots in bed
- waves of cold feeling
31:200c:18: Woke 3am with cough. Felt like fever but temperature is 37 deg. My wife said my body felt burning hot. Feel very bad. Gen > warm lemon drink. Felt chilled on getting up to urinate.
31:200c:20: Low fever in evening; feel chilled in cold air. > covering and warm cloths.
SKIN:
15:6c:1: Athletes foot very itchy; sore - more severe bout than usual.
19:30c:0: 40 mts: At 7 oclock. Sometimes I have under my silver chain, on the left side, an itching spot, which I scratch. The skin is not opening, nor are there any pimples, but the spot becomes red. Today the itching is terrible and I feel, how it is widening out, extending . As if the whole skin is too dry. Have I taken too often shower?
The itching was extending to the arms, from the shoulder until the elbow, as well as around the neck. Then at 9 in the morning the itching calmed down for a while.
19:;30:0: 5 hours: The itching of my neck, as well as of the arms started again, so that I reacted and noticed it, soon after the noon. Neck, shoulders + upper part of arms .
19:30c:0: The itching moved first between the scapulas, then to the arms, (like atopic eczema) and forward to the neck and shoulders. I moved my chain inside my cloths and after two hours the itching was also between my breasts.
19:30c:9: Itching has returned, esp. arms and shoulders. I woke up at night and just wanted to scratch.
19:30c:0: Skin is burning.
19:30c:0: Sensation, as if the skin is drying totally, continues in the whole back, as if there is no fat on it any more. It is drying and itching, as if it needed moisturising. Also my face is burning and drying..
19:30c:0: the skin too dry, fat (oils) disappeared.
21:200c:0: When reading a book in bed, violent itching < back, feet, shoulders, scalp no visible eruption in the skin
< under cover in bed
< reading
> scratching in full effect
the itch lasted about 30 - 45 minutes, then disappeared.
21:200c:1: AS: normally has thick skin on the palms of feet and hands. Now cracks, deep 5-6 mm as if cut with a knife.
24:6c:-: Itching, small pimples as from nettles on arms.
24:6c:-: Sensation of insects biting.
28:6c:0:19 hours: Swollen sensation, as if the skin could break.
34:200c:11: Been rubbing old scar on right side of head above ear - a pimple like pain on part of scar - getting tender.
37:30c:3: Itching - always a different area.
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