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AQUA-MARINA PROVING
by Phillip Robbins
INTRODUCTION
‘In addition to it’s major chemical constituents (sodium, chlorine, magnesium, sulphur, calcium, potassium, bromine, carbon, strontium, boron, silicium, and fluoride), seawater also contains trace amounts of all the other elements of the periodic table. The minute traces of inorganic and organic nutrients are essential for the growth of phytoplankton, on which all life in the oceans depend1’ In fact the sea water can be considered the life blood of ‘Gaia’ the living earth. Without water there is no life, so water in general is a symbol of life.
Sea water has a rich use as symbol in many traditions. It has been used to represent formless potential and the unconscious, emptiness, enlightenment and divine being, the giver and taker of life, the dynamism of life and the human heart and passions. These themes are all bigger than or beyond the individual and relate to the spiritual understanding of connectedness with everything.
In Ancient Egyptian mythology, the coming into being of Earth and life was conceived in terms of emergence from the ocean, just as mudbanks emerged from the falling floodwaters of the Nile. Thus creation for the Egyptians, including even that of the gods themselves, arose from the primeval waters of the ocean.2
Because of their apparent limitless extent, oceans are images of the undifferentiated state of primeval formlessness or potential. In Mahayana Buddhism the ocean is ‘Dharma-kaya’, the Enlightened Body of the Buddha which mingles with ‘Bodhi’, the primeval intellect. Its calm surface symbolises both emptiness and enlightenment. Seas are also symbols of Divine Being, of Nivana and of Tao. The Tao Te Ching speaks of the Tao being to the world what the sea is to rivers. ‘All waters flow into it without filling it; all waters flow from it without draining it. This is why I go to the sea.’ (Chuang Tzu ch 12). In Tantrism, the ocean is the Universal Spirit, ‘Paramatma’, into which is mingled the drop of the water of life, ‘jiva’, or ‘jivatma’, the individual soul. 2
The ancient Greeks and Romans offered horses and bulls, themselves symbols of fertility, in sacrifice to the sea. But monsters rise from the depths, and so the sea is also an image of the unconscious which has currents of its own which may be either lethal or regenerative.2 The sea partakes of the divine property of giving and taking life.
The Christian mystics were some who took the sea as a symbol of the human heart as the seat of the passions. When the sea is stormy, to reach the further shore entails a dangerous crossing of its treacherous water - the sea of passions.
In summary sea symbolism is linked with that of water in the context of the origin of all life. The sea is a symbol of the dynamism of life. Everything comes from the sea and everything returns to it. It is a place of birth, transformation and rebirth. With it’s tides, the sea symbolizes a transitory condition between shapeless potentiality and formal reality, an ambivalent situation of uncertainty, doubt and indecision which can end well or ill. Hence the sea is an image simultaneously of death and of life.
References:
DISCUSSION (This occurred when the prover/supervisor group met at the end of the second proving.)
One prover’s comment about a myth she knew associated with the Sea: ‘The journey of the self through life is like the story of the salt doll - it goes down into the depths of the ocean and as it does so it dissolves and becomes one with the ocean.’
The Ego acts as if ‘I’ will never die. As if everyone else will die but me. This is a mis-understanding of how life works. It is also the ego that holds onto the time of a grief or hurt and perpetuates it as if it were permanent.
Ocean - symbol of the collective unconscious (of Jung); where we all came from. The opposite pole to the individual self (ego).
METHODOLOGY AND PROVERS
Co-ordinated by Phillip Robbins.
FIRST PROVING 28.4.99 - 4.5.99
No provers had supervisors for the first stage as all were experienced homoeopaths. It was supposed to be a dream proving where the remedy was slept on, but most participants took the remedy by their own decision. A group discussion was conducted after seven days to collect symptoms and then reveal the remedy.
SECOND PROVING 6.7.99 - 5.8.99
All provers had experienced supervisors for this proving. Provers were given the option to take the remedy or sleep on it. After one month the supervisors and some provers met to share their symptoms and discuss the themes. The remedy was then revealed (only the co-ordinator knew what it was beforehand). Further discussion ensued in relation to information from both provings.
The proving themes and symptoms of the Mind are set out in the order of a story: from causes to effects to cure and then overview.
SYMPTOM CODE
NN:PPPc:DD:TT: Where:
NN = Prover number PPPc = c Potency DD = Day TT = Time (only used on day 0)
Eg. [12:200c:3] means:
Prover 12 took a 200c potency or the remedy, and the symptom occurred on day 3.
The day that the provers took the potency is designated day 0 (zero).
[CS] = cured symptom
[OS] = old symptom (from more than one year past).
PROVING
MENTALS
Light and Darkness
1:30c. Feel two sides: light and depth of darkness. Light is peaceful and calm happiness. Laughable. Darkness is grumpy and moody, but this is easily shifted to lightness.
Mis-communication
10:200c:3. There seems to be some communication stuff going on here!! Yesterday my phone stopped working. On Wednesday (day 1) I couldn’t get a lift to training from someone who would normally give me a lift. In the morning they said they were going, but in the evening, half an hour before leaving they phoned to say they were not going. On Tuesday (day 0), I had arranged for someone to give me a lift on Thursday and they were supposed to give me a call on Thursday afternoon to tell me what time they were going. As my phone was still out of action I walked around to their place, and as it turned out, they had forgotten to phone me anyway. When I arrived at training, one of the guys said my son (who lives in Sydney) was at his place that afternoon. I found it quite unbelievable that I hadn’t been told he was coming up and that he was here, by a family member. I couldn’t get a lift to training this morning either as my phone was still out of action and I also can’t phone anyone about seeing my son. The phone started working in the afternoon. There seems to be no explanation about the disruption of service.
10:200c:6. My supervisor phoned last night when I was out. Apparently I was supposed to call her but hadn’t. More mis-communication.
11:30c:3. Not feeling very communicative.
11:30c:3. Very angry and feeling stressed in morning. Had a fight with partner before work. Rang him back and apologised. I would normally mull over it all day and not say anything. I had been unjust with him. CS
Relationship Pain
5:200c:2. Last night got very tearful in bed having received a letter from mum and dad. My dad is in pain! and my mum misses me! I love them both!!
5:200c:4. Went to a club and ‘D’ (my old boyfriend) was there. We instantly got talking - he has split up with his new girlfriend Z. He was very sad about Z going. I said some really blunt things to him that I didn’t expect to hurt. I was shocked by the pain on his face - I couldn’t believe I’d been so crass and cruel, and that I hadn’t known how hurt he’d be. At night in bed I couldn’t stop thinking about him, how much I love him and how every time I see him its irresistible, like I can’t do anything but get back into it. Then started thinking about my dad and death (See Death / blackness).
Discussion: Every time I see my ex-partner I react. It will never be resolved. Will always cause pain.
Grief and Sadness
1:30c. Sighing.
2:200c:1. It is like souls lost (prover is in a state of grief).
2:200c:1. What it is like to be dead (in grief).
2:200c:1. The grief of losing something so precious. The waste.
5:200c:5. Today I felt absolutely trashed. My body aches. I feel tearful and sad. (After seeing ex-boyfriend).I talked to R a little about how I feel towards D (my ex-boyfriend) - how it always brings up stuff, hooks me back in, whenever I see him. It drives me mad.
11:30c:1. Felt teary and like a defenceless child.
Alone / Forgotten / Abandoned
10:200c:2. In the morning I phoned the co-ordinator because I hadn’t heard from my supervisor. He informed me that he had been a bit delayed in organising it but someone should call today. This was OK for me which was maybe a bit uncharacteristic, although I found it strange and felt slightly ‘out in the cold’. I wasn’t sure of any arrangements, had no instructions, etc . Spoke to supervisor in the evening and told her I had no symptoms.
Discussion: Seemed like she wasn’t into it. I seemed to be the only one into doing it. I felt alone in it. I had to do it myself. Was aware I was being forgotten about by my supervisor, Grandmother and friends. Had no emotional response to this though.
5:200c:5. I talked to R a little about how I feel towards D (my ex-boyfriend) - how it always brings up stuff, hooks me back in, whenever I see him. It drives me mad. Then we both got all our old photos out. I felt I was baring my soul. Then some of his friends came over and I felt I was left in a vulnerable place - abandoned after having trusted someone and then let them in.
Distant
16:200c:1. A vagueness with fear underlying it.
16:200c:1. Didn’t want to interact with people. Protecting myself.
4:200c:1. It was remarked by my housemate that I was very distant and different.
Anxiety / Insecurity
2:200c:2. Today at work I was a bit insecure of what I was doing (usually sure and confident). Had a little upset that made me unsure. Usually a tough person. Makes me quiver.
2::200c:2. Feel a huge insecurity - I know stuff but I know that I have a blank..
5:200c:2. Feeling unusually relaxed about being late (a big change). I was late for a patient today and just felt it would be OK. When I got there she had only just got in. Then came home for some lunch and got talking to my housemate (which I enjoyed a lot) and was half an hour late for Yoga Philosophy. I wasn’t even embarrassed about walking in late and I felt I got the gist of the lecture anyway. CS
13:30c:1-3. Not as stressed as usual. Things happened but forgot it quickly. Less anxious. CS
13:30c:7. Been more laid back. I should be worrying about business and money, but I’m just not. CS
Insignificance / invisible
2:200c:1. Had several near misses with car accidents but they were not bothered. Was so close to death. I was invisible to them.
12:200c:1. Comments about dreams: Had a few dreams during the night but they all seemed fairly insignificant.... Very insignificant.....Again seemed insignificant....Sorry! Looks like prover No 12 was a total failure. No symptoms either. On being asked to discuss the dreams by the co-ordinator she said. ‘It’s pretty hopeless. I couldn’t remember anything.’
Hopelessness / Fatalistic / Inevitable Failure
2:200c:1. Oh dear, everything is too hard.
8:200c:1. I have been having a sexual problem with my wife that seemed huge and too big to be resolved. Started thinking that some things can get so complicated and difficult that they might never get fixed.
Co-ordinator: During the proving up until the final discussion, I had the feeling that it all would be a failure no matter what I did. A sense of fatalism or hopelessness. No point trying to do anything about it either. It was like I was just going through the motions (very different to other provings I have done).
Group Discussion: It has a feeling like the futility of life - there is death at the end anyway. But we go on like the ANZAC’s (Australian and New Zealand Army Corp which are best know for their ultimately failed landing at Gallipoli in Turkey during WW1). (See dream under Hopeless /Futile struggle.)
Lost to myself / I don’t belong / Floating
4:200c:17. I think I am still lost in the remedy somehow, as even though I went home after the meeting and took Palladium 12C - as I felt I didn't belong - this didn't seem to make any difference and I had another dream regarding my ex romantic partner and also my 'dead' mother as well.
4:200c:17. What hasn't changed though is the feeling of not being able to 'come back to
myself' - its hard to explain but it is like I can't come back to base. I have had this
feeling once previously when I returned from trying to relocate to Wales and was
'deported', and my family and friends didn't want to know me or even see me. At that time
to alleviate this feeling of not connecting with myself I had a few float-tank sessions a
week. I got to know the owner and was able to stay in the tank for at least a couple of
hours at a time, and once for almost 4. I would fall asleep fairly quickly and then wake
up when the music was piped in which would be when the tank was needed.
Floating on salt water and feeling lost to myself.
Death /Blackness
5:200c:5. I started thinking about my dad and what it would be like to be facing death - your own death. I tried to imagine what it would be like to die, what it would be like to be dead - and suddenly I felt absolutely terrified of the blackness, the not knowing, the fear of not knowing where you are or what is happening or how long it would last.
Acceptance / Bigger View
2:200c:1. A huge acceptance of everything coming against me. From here to the horizon acceptable. No emotions with this, just acceptance, understanding and OK-ness. CS
2:200c:1. Feel like I am waiting for something right over there on the horizon. Quite happy to sit and wait for it.
2:200c:1. Very calm to the point of ridiculousness - because there‘s nothing in the world that calm, and still just watching everything that was or has been. CS
2:200c:1. Full of ideas. Appear to be a bright thinker, (but I don’t think so - more like a cow - just eat grass, have calves and that’s it.)
2:200c:1. Relief from feelings of grief over my son’s suicide. (Provers son suicided 10 months previously and she had been deeply depressed since.) A feeling of - it doesn’t really matter in the bigger scheme of things; in the huge expanse of time. It is all understood and accepted. CS
10:200c:2. Was able to deal with shitty things:
Eg. my son and Grandmother coming up without telling me. My son was staying with my Grandma and when I called to see what was going on and when I could see him, she became aggressive and defensive as if it was my fault. I was surprisingly calm and centred through the conversation and managed to organise things in a way that was good for everyone. My attitude was, lets use this situation. This meant that I got over it quickly. Could take a really broad view of the situation rather than just a personal one and see they are just living their lives as best as they can. Not so personal. Could see I am just a part of the broader deal.
13:30c:1. Overslept through alarm (very unusual). Didn’t feel stressed about it even thought I am always on time. CS
Confidence / Can just do it
5:200c:3- 4. Took the proving remedy last night (Friday), because I felt all my old stuff come back on the Friday. Had a great time Friday night and Saturday night - partied out, felt really confident. CS
8:200c:1. Made love with my wife even though we were having a difficulty with it. It didn’t matter what the problem was - I could just do it. Even though the problem seemed huge and too big to be resolved I could just ignore it and go through it. CS
11:30c:3. Very angry and feeling stressed in morning. Had a fight with partner before work. Rang him back and apologised. I would normally mull over it all day and not say anything. I had been unjust with him. CS
Effortless / Easy
5:200c:6. Phoned D to apologise for being insensitive and judgmental the other night. He was genuinely grateful, and it felt good. I went to the bank to ask for a bigger loan and he said yes; I went to the real-estate agents to find a house and saw something I think I like, and I asked about a place about work, and she phoned back to say that the boss was interested and would be in touch. It all seems pretty good. CS
10:200c:1. Showered and spent more energy on my appearance. I went to extremes of nurturing myself: face scrub; massage with essential oils; breakfast with protein powders and vitamins. Really into looking after myself. After breakfast made some phone calls and dealt with business that needed attending to. Then started studying.
Discussion with co-ordinator: I was very structured and disciplined. Did it all effortlessly and enjoyed it. CS
10:200c:8. Bought my partner a relatively expensive ring (although I am poor). All seemed very spontaneous, flamboyant and extravagant. I had the attitude - I can give that; its only money. CS
Falling back into Myself
16:200c:0:10 mts. Sense of falling into a deep trance-like sleep - like falling back into myself. CS
Looking after Self / Self-absorbed
10:200c:1. Showered and spent more energy on my appearance. I went to extremes of nurturing myself: face scrub; massage with essential oils; breakfast with protein powders and vitamins. Really into looking after myself. After breakfast made some phone calls and dealt with business that needed attending to. Then started studying.
Discussion with co-ordinator: I was very structured and disciplined. Did it all effortlessly and enjoyed it. I found value in myself that was worth doing all that for.[During a discussion of this prover he was described as ‘self-absorbed’ and ‘narcissistic’.] (See also Effortless and Nurturing myself)
5:200c:1. Housemate’s sister kept me awake last night by her loud voice! Felt really angry, but got to sleep. Then she woke me up again, talking on the phone at 1.30 am! This time I got up and asked her to keep it down - she still kept it up for another 20 minutes! I started getting really angry, and called out ‘shut up!’.
Nurturing Myself
5:200c:1. I know I should go to bed, but ‘Dawson’s Creek is on and I love it.
10:200c:1. Showered and spent more energy on my appearance. I went to extremes of nurturing myself: face scrub; massage with essential oils; breakfast with protein powders and vitamins. Really into looking after myself. After breakfast made some phone calls and dealt with business that needed attending to. Then started studying.
Discussion with co-ordinator: I was very structured and disciplined. Did it all effortlessly and enjoyed it. I found value in myself that was worth doing all that for.
10:200c:2. Went to the beach again and immediately on arriving saw lots of dolphins in the surf (after dreaming of dolphins night before). Felt great. Had a run and did exercise then showered etc. Spent a lot of time on myself again.
Perfect as I am
10:200c:1-3. I felt great - perfect as I am. Who I am is good. I don’t have to be any different. Really content with myself. Complete. I like who I am. Don’t have to be in competition or be like anyone else.
10:200c:3. In the evening the good feeling was becoming extremely intense and was now sure that it was a proving symptom. It is hard to describe, I am just feeling intensely good, but it is hard to contain and I don’t know what to do with it. Later it was becoming almost unbearable.
10:200c:3. In the night I half woke up with this extreme sensation that I can only describe as a (good) feeling of great intensity. The physical sensation was very intense. I was asleep again soon. It is as though the good feeling reached a peak of intensity, then ‘broke’ in the night.
10:200c:2. I could be totally there for my partner when she came home from a difficult day at work. It was as though all my needs had been met so I could be there for her. I didn’t need anything for me anymore, and I could give. CS
1:30c. Don’t need to think; everything is layed out in front of me. Great intelligence, but slow thinking.
1:30c. Feel I have the answer to everything, just about.
Infinity / Eternity / All Time / No Time
2:200c:1. Able to look at everything from the beginning of time up until today. Seems like only seconds apart how time goes.
2:200c:1. Amazed at the depth of this; from the highest to the lowest. (This creates a kind of depth of field.)
2:200c:1. Hugeness. So big; from here to the clouds; goes such a long way. Big and empty, yet full.
2:200c:1. No time limit; doesn’t have a time. ‘One day I’ll do this - I’ll fix that one day.’ In this remedy they’ll never do it because there is so much time, they think they’ve got forever. Have all the time, forever; huge patience; just sit there and wait.
2:200c:1. Nothing in the way; everything clear; like I can see the (whole) flat world.
2:200c:1. Like everything shut down but opens up a whole new way of seeing life and time and eternity.
2:200c:2. Time is not so important; no set time; it can go on forever, just drifting. Realise time is a delusion (a concept.)
5:200c:3. Every time I see my ex-partner I react. It will never be resolved. Will always be a pain. (See also Relationship pain)
10:200c:7. Took my partner to have a small tattoo she wanted for her birthday and ended up being done myself. Got two tattoos. One a Celtic knot symbol which represented eternity, infinity and always coming back to the same place. It had leaves on it and also represented to me the ‘Green Man’ - a pagan nature spirit.
The second tattoo is a circle knot pattern that symbolises infinity also and is like a warrior symbol. People also say it looks like whales tails. (See diagrams)
Group discussion: Theme of death and dying; of beginning and ending.
Group discussion: Theme of all time from the beginning to the end.
The Seaside/Ocean
10:200c:1. Woke a at 7.30am and went for a run on the beach. Felt really good as it was a beautiful morning (first clear morning after much rain).
10:200c:2. Went to the beach again and immediately on arriving saw lots of dolphins in the surf (after dreaming of dolphins night before). Felt great.
Other Mentals
2:200c:1. Slow moving; no great thoughts.
2:200c:2. Mental state stagnant - stop’s and starts, then slow.
2:200c:2. Grumpy, but no cruelty. Getting pushed around made me grumpy, then calm again.
4:200c:0. On taking the pilule I saw 2 pale blue spotlights in my head and it was very difficult to get to sleep.
5:200c:0. I liked it - like a pearl - pure and simple.
10:200c:2. When my Grandmother got aggressive with me over my son, I could see I was being treated unjustly, and that my feelings and rights were not a consideration for her or his (my son’s) mum. There was no emotional response to this.
11:30c:2. Shitty day at work. A dog with blocked bowels on an enema treatment had complete and utter diarrhoea - required a major clean up throughout day. Found this harder than normal to cope with.
11:30c:3. No enthusiasm.
13:30c:7. Bored of living around here. Thinking of moving to the City. Need a change.
14:200c:1. Sat up in the middle of the night and said the word ‘Heliotrope’. I had never heard of it before. [Heliotrope is a plant that turns towards the Sun. Also the common name of Valeriana Officinalis.]
DREAMS
Vast Time / Forever
2:200c:2. Dreams too vast, too big. Very nice.
6:200c:1.After a dream (See Hopeless / futile struggle.)
In both stories I'm involved as a participant but I know the story well. It feels narrated
as if it has been to generation after generation.
Romantic / Sexual Relationships
4:200c:1. Dreamt about an ex romantic partner (of 15 years ago) that I have been dreaming about for the last few nights (unresolved issues) - vague memory. Also dreamt of my mother who died 3 months ago and had been dreaming of her the last few nights as well. She was acting in an accounts/admin character towards me which was totally foreign to her nature.
4:200c:3. Dream series.
a)There was a lot of snow in this dream and there was a ball on a bit of paper with a
child identifying it as representing the Virgin Mary. Arabian name - confusion of this
icon when authorities were asking questions of various symbols on the bed. There was a
chart on the wall that these objects would be placed on and stick on it.
b) My younger sister was vaguely in the background and she had strong emotions when she
went to Jerusalem although I never spoke to her about them.
c) The pet that I loved most and had for longest when I left home, 'Minky' a black cat
that had come to a sad end which I still felt guilt about, was purring and comforting me
as I awoke.
4:200c:2. Dream series.
a) There were aliens and chains where I was born back in Sydney (where I haven't lived
for 29 years). There was a man I had never met with and a ring of the right fit for my
finger to marry me with but there was no chance of me accepting it.
b) I was then in Greece which was not working out (I had a sense that I had been there
once before and that trip had also not worked out). My partner there was courting someone
else. There were many animals about.
4:200c:7. Dream series.
a) I had gone to Bali for a wedding with a number of friends. There was rivalry between
two males as to who I would spend a couple of nights with but their work programmes
enabled me to spend the night with the
man that I most wanted to spend the night with. The countryside wasn't actually Bali but a
beautiful country with meadows and mountains and fields but not as hot as Bali.
7:200c:1. About a bordello, a whore house. It was a story told by an inmate to curious onlookers, me, my husband and my two kids. The worker told of an often violent and difficult job where she was constantly on the look out for self protection from her clients. This was important to her and she devised ways with screens and gadgets to protect her from violence which she described to us as she showed us around a warren like workplace. As we wandered by where her boss was busily occupied with a client it was obvious that the boss enjoyed herself with her clients.
From an outdoor perspective we lay on the grass and were able to view the bordello in its entirety and voyeur on all the workers at their job.
A man wandered by as we lay there on the grass and started a procedure to apply pressure to a spot on our abdomens - a bit like acupressure. He said it would help release our sexual energy. Or he didn’t say that so much as it became obvious and we writhed on the grass in orgastic delight.
Analysis: About sensual pleasure and orgasm.
8:200c:1. Series
a) A fast car on a wet road, passing a long line of big trucks on the inside lane. Came upon parked cars in this inside lane. Not enough time to stop on the wet road.
b) An aggressive person - can barely hold in his anger.
c) At a community celebration in a large house. B (partner) really liked the front room and wanted to stay there (as it was more comfortable than home). I went to the group celebration. Most people wore aqua blue and red ribbons covering their hair (it unified everyone in the celebration). Girls getting their photos taken in bikinis or short mini skirts. Rows of people sliding down grassy water slides into a lake. Lots of people.
Analysis: Fast car on a wet road is a sexual metaphor. The chosen way is blocked. Sexual difficulties.
11:30c:1. A lady having trouble with getting a partner due to being one-armed (lost an arm from being badly burnt as a child). I appear to become her male partner. Go to the beach with friends, don’t want to swim, just climb around a rocky headland (the lady that is). A long trip back home - takes so long! Construction workers fencing the sides of the road with a grid mesh - a building like a cathedral. Now in hospital, giving her a blood transfusion to save her life - but she lives and I die. Something said about worms. (See also Water / Ocean )
15:1M:1. Push bike riding through the countryside, enjoying countryside - came to a town. Needed some money, went to bank but there were lots of people queued; waited in queue; talked to a man in front of me. Had a good yarn. Got sick of waiting, reckon I could do with out the money and took off on the push bike. Riding down a steep hill, the bike got air borne and I could look down and see the road move slowly away. Saw a large cane toad and a wombat.
Seminal emission took place and dream stopped!
16:200c:1. I was lying on the floor watching TV - relaxed. My best friend’s husband reached across me and touched my back. It happened a second and third time. I felt uncomfortable. He then grabbed me on the backside. No, No, No. He grabbed me again, so I abused him. ‘This is what you wanted’ he said. ‘No!’ I said. I go to leave and take a long time collecting my belongings.
Family Relationships
4:200c:4. Dream series.
a)I was travelling to many different places that I had previously gone to and other
countries that I hadn't.
b) I had a lot of clothes that I needed to rid myself of as I never wore them but loved
them (happened when I tried to relocate to Wales).
c) My mother was driving a car (she never did in actual life) and was trying to control me
by taking me when and where she wanted as we lived in a fairly deserted area.
d) ‘L’ and a few friends back in Sydney are always trying to get me to go back
and offering work opportunities to do so. First time I had ever dreamt of her.
e) My niece ‘R’ has always copied what I have previously done in the past but
without success and she also was involved in trying to get me to go back (she is involved
with a particular group that I would never have anything to do with and has invited me to
go along).
4:200c:5. Dreamt of family members and being in a hotel (but it looked like my secondary school premises). I was needing to clean up before moving from there as it had been a semi-permanent residence. I went to go to the rooms but there was no lift to the level that I was on and so was waiting endlessly in the elevator hall one level lower. I walked up stairs that I thought would take me up a flight but it led to a library which was undergoing renovations and so was a dead end. (There was a sense or thought that mother's day was sad and had always been sad.)
4:200c:6. Dream series.
a) I was attending a wedding in the dream where I was continually shifted from where I
had located myself to watch the ceremony. My two younger sisters were the bridesmaids but
they were not dress or colour coded and uninterested in their role. After having been
pushed to the front row of the church (the church I would have attended for a wedding like
this does not have seats in it) I was still in the church but was looking at a gym that
was on board a boat and there were many coloured weights being used that would turn into
floats and rubber mats.
b) I was next in a beautiful home which I recall having seen in a previous dream but never
in reality. This home was owned by a child I had babysit since she was a couple of months
old and I regarded her as my own. We have parted ways for well over 10 years but in the
dream she is always 6 which was the age of the last time I saw her. They weren't
connecting with me directly.
10:200c:1. Series.
a)Violent argument with my Father. He seemed to be unjustly blaming me for something and his anger seemed disproportionate to the situation. He was trying to hit me with a hammer. I was able to avoid this and take the hammer from him without either of us being hurt with the use of martial art skills.
b) Shop security guard attacked me for some reason ( I think he thought I had stolen something, but I hadn’t). I was able to avoid his attack, but he was hurt by the force of his attack and I was then being chased by more guards. I wanted to explain that I didn’t attack the guard, but he hurt himself and that I hadn’t done anything wrong. I thought I saw a police car arriving so I gave myself up to the security guards so as to straighten everything out, then realised it was only a passing ambulance and not the police.
c) My son’s mother arrived unexpectedly from Sydney while I was doing a martial art grading. She got angry that I wouldn’t just stop what I was doing immediately and go and see my son. I could understand why it wasn’t OK for me to finish what I was doing first.
Patient’s analysis: There seems to be a theme of both violence and injustice in these dreams. While it isn’t unusual for me to have violence in my dreams, the theme of injustice may be significant.
Relationships with Friends
4:200c:4. Dream series.
d) ‘L’ and a few friends back in Sydney are always trying to get me to go back
and offering work opportunities to do so. First time I had ever dreamt of her.
5:200c:1. A good friend ‘A’ couldn’t get a house because no-one would let her take on a lease. I felt sorry for her, and offered to go in on a lease on a house with her. Then I was warned that she would somehow do the dirty on me!
Anxious about family
13:30c:7. Two dreams:
1) Went on holiday up to Darwin. I saw my parents on the beach and we were talking about E (my 5 month old daughter). My daughter was talking to kids on the beach, so we couldn’t go for a walk - we laughed. Were having a good holiday. There was a crocodile in the swamp so I didn’t want to go in the water near it. I thought it would eat me.
2) A baby got murdered. It had a gunshot wound in the head. I felt panic to get an ambulance. We didn’t want them to paint a red line around the baby. It would remind us. Rather forget about it, avoid it. It was sad. (Prover has a 5 month old baby) (See also Grief /Death.)
Grief / Death
13:30c:7. A baby got murdered. It had a gunshot wound in the head. I felt panic to get an ambulance. We didn’t want them to paint a red line around the baby. It would remind us. Rather forget about it, avoid it. It was sad. (Prover has a 5 month old baby)
Hopeless / Futile Struggle / Inevitable Failure
6:200c:1. Climbing a peak in Australia with several others. One by one they all fall to
their deaths (2 or 3 of fellow climbers) until only 2 of us left. It gets colder &
more difficult. My companion is tired & is struggling to climb
further. He takes of his shoe for better purchase of the rocks but the cold contact with
the rock face saps his will & he falls. I too eventually fall but I don't experience
it, rather I know of it like a legend or folk tale. We were striving for an ideal, someone
else's wish or imperative drives us on despite the hopelessness of the situation.
the dream changes
Working with botanists, we come across the last of a tree species. It is dead &
burning. Our leader is philosophical about the loss of the species, the other workers are
unhappy. One of the workers sister lives next to the tree (which lies at the base of the
mountain where we perished) & she has hybridised the tree, made money from it, yet
tragically seems to have let the last parent tree perish. The worker can't believe his
sister let this happen, the rest of us are resigned to the reality of the loss.
Analysis: grim tales. In both 'tales', a sense of a bitter struggle, of epic
proportions that end in tragedy. No one is happy yet it seems the memory of it is
commemorated ~ like the ANZAC struggle. [ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army
Corp who were slaughtered at the ill fated Gallipoli in the first World War.] War, a
futile
struggle.
In both stories I'm involved as a participant but I know the story well. It feels narrated
as if it has been to generation after generation.
Alone / Waiting
6:200c:3. In London (or so it seemed) it was gothic , dark. I missed the train &
lost my friends. I don't know where I am or where to go. Friends or people I know were
either going past in a car & didn't see me or I was in a bus & waved to them &
they waved back. I eventually get off a train & don't know what to do. The buildings
are tall dark & made of stone. Again someone I know drives past but doesn't see me. I
feel alone even though there are a few people
about waiting for a bus. I take out a guitar (from where?) & played 'waiting for an
angel' singing the song even though I felt uncomfortable doing this I just let it happen
& all was well. People started talking to me & suggested
I look more closely at the buildings. On walking among the buildings I noticed displays of
many different items. Like display windows but these contained many expensive items. Works
of art.
Only Way Home is to go Naked
14:200c:2. Staying at a lodge type place doing some spiritual work. I wanted to go home - couldn’t go - only way I could go was to go out naked and catch a bus.
In Control of My Life
10:200c:2. I was in a small boat like a dinghy and saw a dead dolphin, then saw lots of dolphins. It felt good seeing them. I saw a white stick in the water and realised I was drifting out of control. I thought I was out of control but found the oars in the boat and when I used them I realised I was in control and could go where I wanted.
10:200c:7. I’m in some water in a square space. There are three tiers of waterfalls coming down steps on two sides. It was all very green and full of nature. I was wading around in the water. Just checking it out. I climbed up one tier and felt a strong current of water rushing down, pulling at my let. I felt panicky. As if I have no control. When I walked around I realised I had total control and could go where I wanted.
Provers analysis: A similar feeling to the good feeling I had in the first few days. Not being controlled by what anyone wants of me. I’m in control of my life. Felt I didn’t need to perform or be the best. (Which I usually do).
Water / Ocean
12:200c:1. Series.
a) Something to do with us proving a remedy. It involved a koala and another native animal which I think was a platypus, but nothing to mention except that the two animals were huddled together.
b) A few friends - I went to see some band playing in Byron Bay- very insignificant. Afterwards we went to the Beach Hotel which was now some kind of Indian eating place.
c) About me looking after the next door neighbour’s house while they were away. Again seemed insignificant except for the fact of water involvement. I seemed to be always using water whether it was watering plants, watering animals or doing the washing.
All dreams seemed very ordinary.
11:30c:1. A lady having trouble with getting a partner due to being one-armed (lost an arm from being badly burnt as a child). I appear to become her male partner. Go to the beach with friends, don’t want to swim, just climb around a rocky headland (the lady that is). (See also Romantic Relationships)
Animals
4:200c:1. Dream series.
a) Dreamt had purchased a koala bear and it was shitting everywhere. It was like a teddy bear in that I was holding it by one hand and it was walking beside me. In the dream I had left the koala in the house overnight. The house then turned into a treed area and on not being able to find the koala immediately, another animal was spotted which was dismembered. Only the head and arm of an elongated chinchilla was left of the animal but it was shooting upwards and trying to survive. [The Koala proving revealed symptoms of ‘I am’, ‘Floating’ and ‘Detached from Self’.]
4:200c:3. Dream series.
c) The pet that I loved most and had for longest when I left home, 'Minky' a black cat
that had come to a sad end which I still felt guilt about, was purring and comforting me
as I awoke.
12:200c:1. Series.
a) Something to do with us proving a remedy. It involved a koala and another native animal which I think was a platypus, but nothing to mention except that the two animals were huddled together. (Also see Water / ocean.)
Other dreams
4:200c:7. Dream series.
a) I had gone to Bali for a wedding with a number of friends. There was rivalry between
two males as to who I would spend a couple of nights with but their work programmes
enabled me to spend the night with the
man that I most wanted to spend the night with. The countryside wasn't actually Bali but a
beautiful country with meadows and mountains and fields but not as hot as Bali. (See
Romantic Relationships)
b) I didn't end up staying with anyone and on the morning it was time to depart there was
a bit of a leaving ceremony but the computerised pencils and brochures everyone was
allocated with weren't working for me and brochures and pencils were being eaten up but
the natives didn't care and came to take them from everyone so I missed out. Next everyone
was invited to attend a couple of other classes such as swimming etc but the bag I had
with me which was made of wood had been 'torn' down a serrated edge and so could not be
sent on board the plane. I next started packing souvenirs in a wooden crate but on picking
up a gilded rock it broke and a native grub crawled out. I then packed the remainder of
leather goods and clothes thinking I would distribute these amongst family when I get back
but I wasn't sure customs would let me through if they decided to open my luggage.
c) I vaguely heard my group talking about me wondering what had happened to me but
assuming I would turn up any moment. It was going to be awkward to face the two men that
were interested in me.
d) Next some seedy boys approached me in what looked like my secondary school yard and
they were wanting my money but I didn't have much and others came to my rescue.
5:200c:2. I must buy five cardboard folders, to organise all my various study notes and papers.
Another dream I can’t remember.
14:200c:1. I found money - cash in an envelope. Some of it was wet. I hid it - didn’t want others to know. I found more later.
16:200c:2. Looking out through my glasses - there is spotty stuff on them - orange red - adhered. Trying to get it off.
SENSATIONS AS IF
1:30c. Feels like breathing air through neck, can feel fresh air there.
2:200c:1. Feel like I have a float all around my lungs; with an inability to sink from there down. Like a float in water.
2:200c:1. As if a line around my middle.
2:200c:1. As if the sea were in my left ear. If didn’t know better I would be seasick.
2:200c:2. Feel I shouldn’t have legs, they should end at the knees. Feels funny standing; crossing legs feels better.
GENERALS
2:200c:1. Tired.
2:200c:2. One side to the other of being ravenously hungry to total contentment.
2:200c:2. Content about whatever I am eating.
2:200c:2. Craving cheese - the smoothness of Camembert.
5:200c:2. Eating a lot of fruit esp grapes. Had fruit salad for dinner.
5:200c:2. Craving sweets and honey.
5:200c:6. Craving salt. Vegemite on corn and rice crackers for breakfast!
11:30c:2. Drank little.
11:30c:3. Thirsty for water.
13:30c:1. Very thirsty in afternoon. Drank water but still thirsty.
16:200c:1. Appetite increased two-fold. Wake very hungry. Have more meals in the day.
16:200c:1. Craving salt.
13:30c:7. Was very hot in bed last night - took some blankets off. (Very unusual for me.)
HEAD
1:30c. Dull head.
2:200c:1. Clogged up and restricted, like a sinus headache, but with no pain.
2:200c:1. Feels as if head squeezed so tight, yet no pain in it.
2:200c:1. Very light headed.
10:200c:9. Headache in forehead that feel congested and thick.
> open air.
VERTIGO
2:200c:1. Lot of giddiness.
2:200c:1. Head swims - like when drunk.
FACE
2:200c:1. Clogged up and restricted, like a sinus headache, but with no pain.
10:200c:6 - 14. In the afternoon or evening three small spots appeared on the left side of my face on the cheek. They are red, hard with no pus or fluid. They look a bit like insect bites but are not itchy.
EYES
2:200c:1. Eyes heavy.
TEETH
4:200C:0. On taking the remedy I (also) had a toothache of a molar which had never previously ached - this lasted only for a few seconds then the diagonal molar also ached for a few seconds.
THROAT
5:200c:1. Had to keep clearing my throat.
STOMACH
2:200c:1. Huge nausea, burping, swallowing; I am keeping this down, whatever it is.
ABDOMEN
10:200C:8. In the afternoon around 2 pm had abdominal pain, which felt sort of congested and sort of like wind pain. > holding and pressing in. Lasted about an hour.
10:200C:9. Congested in abdomen. Sensation as if wanting to pass stool but unable.
Tension in abdomen.
BOWELS
5:200c:1-2. I am shitting a lot. Every time I go to the loo I can do a poo.
6:200c: 3. Urge to stool with an aching pain inside anus.
11:30c:3. Haven’t passed stool for three days.
BLADDER
6:200c: When I urinate as if the end of my penis was pushed out.
MALE
15:1M:1. Seminal emission during a flying dream.
FEMALE
3:1M:1. Huge pain like afterbirth - heaps of pain from front to back in the pelvic bowl. Long, sharp pain; intense and constant; restricting movement. Hard to stand up or walk. > squatting on floor. More uterine related than bowel.
> Pulsatilla 30.
4:200c:1. Some of my menopausal symptoms which were responding to homoeopathics had returned with a vengeance eg. itchy/sensitive scalp, extremely itchy legs from knee down, restless legs, sadness and heaviness. [OS]
CHEST
13:30c:1. Pain in sternum much worse esp in the evening and night. All night I was tossing and turning and moaning with the pain in chest. Thought about going to doctor and phoned for an appointment, but didn’t go. Site of old injury - rib dislocated from sternum years ago. Pain comes and goes and site swells up to hard lump occasionally.
< cold weather; breathing deep in.
13:30c:40. Pain in sternum has been much better since proving. CS
16:200c:1. Pain in left chest extending to left shoulder. Not > or < breathing. Causes a bit of panic.
RESPIRATION
2:200c:2. Lovely to breath in, could feel alive; lungs can fill up; not so good breathing out. Loved breathing in but had to think to breath out. Breathed in a wonderful aliveness. Like the first breath you ever took, so lovely to be here; ‘sparky’. Breathing out is hard work like in Asthma. Desire to just keep breathing in.
HEART
2:200c:2. Heart felt really good, chest really clear (had been having pains in heart) [CS]
EXTREMITIES
2:200c:2. From knees to feet really pained, raw like they have been exposed to the weather; like awful chilblains from the cold.
2:200c:2. Huge pain in shin splints; in front of bone from knee to foot.
8:200c:2. Eruption, R little toe, small ulcer/hole, red, raw sensation if touched < in shoes.
SLEEP
2:200c:2. Much better to sleep on stomach.
4:200c:0. I turned on my right side but normally lie on my left. I did have to turn onto my left to go to sleep.
4:200c:1. Woke 3.15am. Went back to sleep and dreamt.
Woke again at 4.30am. Woke with a cold, cold feeling under the skin from the inside,
but on touching my skin on the outside my surface body temperature was warm (has happened
previously pre-menstrually). Woke with an astringent feeling of the scalp as if it had
been pulled/stretched in many different directions and had even extended 'plastically' in
two planes prior to waking from the dream.
Woke up with a vague sense of worrying about my miniature horse that is on ajistment at
the moment, and which I feel guilty about.
Woke again at 5.00am Couldn't get out of bed and felt fluey.
Woke again at 6.00am. Had a headache and still kept putting off getting out of bed. Dozing on and off til I got out of bed at 6.45am.
REFLECTIONS:
From the time of taking the remedy I have had an aversion to going to bed at night. This
was a behaviour pattern of years ago and has origins in treatment at night as a child. The
avoidance behaviour was very strong and I would fall asleep in front of the TV and would
wake intermittently but would not want to actually go into my bedroom. I had to catch
myself off guard and stumble to my bedroom. One evening did so even without cleaning my
teeth, which I did early the next morning. [OS]
4:200c:1. Also there was a pattern of waking up at 3.15am but not getting up, just waking up as if a light was switched on in my head.
4:200c:2. Went to bed at 12.35am after falling asleep in front of the TV a few times.
4:200c:2. Woke up at 3.15am.
4:200c:3. Went to bed at 13.30 again.
4:200c:3. Not sure if I awoke at 3.15am this morning - confusion but at the same time a vague sense I might have or dreamt that I had.
4:200c:4. Forced myself to go to bed at 11.30 and went without brushing my teeth as I knew if I did I would go back to the TV.
4:200c:5. Went to bed at 12.30am.
4:200c:5. Awoke at 3.15am.
4:200c:6. Went to bed at 1.30am
4:200c:6. Woke at 3.15am and turned on my stomach to go back to sleep.
4:200c:7. Bed at 1.00am
4:200c:7. I woke at 3.15am
I awoke on my stomach and arose at 7.00am.
13:30c:1. Slept very heavily; didn’t move. Overslept through alarm (very unusual).
16:200c:1. Slept on abdomen with arms above head.
16:200c:1. Difficult getting to sleep.
SKIN
4:200c:1. An old sun cancer scar (of 26 years ago) on my nose got darker and was itchy. OS
5:200c: 1- 6. [Slept on remedy] Eczema >. Returned on third day so I took the proving remedy. Eczema > again for few days. Day 6 Eczema still heaps better. (Eczema was about navel, hips and arms; itchy) CS
RARE AND PECULIAR
2:200c:1. Able to look at everything from the beginning of time up until today. Seems like only seconds apart
1:30c. Feels like breathing air through neck, can feel fresh air there. If didn’t know better, I would think it feels like a fish breathing through gills in lower neck.
RELATIONSHIPS
SIMILAR: Nat-m: Grief and romantic relationship pains. Crave salt and loves the ocean.
But Aq mar does not cry much and has more bone affinity.
Lac-h: Floating and disconnected from self. Abandoned feeling. Lack of sense of self.
But abandoned feeling is much stronger in Lac-h.